Wednesday, August 11, 2010

March muthaf*cka's .... MARCH!!

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Without question, qualification, or quantification ... the single most important election. In the history of these United States of America.

Ever.

November Second. Tuesday. Eighty three days from now.

Many days before in the history of this great nation, have been filled with incredibly great import (to be sure). Revolution, independence, civil war, influenza, depression, world wars. Untold horrors have indeed already confronted us. Battered us, bruised us, cut us, left us fearful ... and crying. And we survived. Through the unshakable belief in G*d and country. And of course ... our fellow Americans.

We now are confronted with an evil most foul. Traitors in our midst. Real F*cking TRAITORS. Not fiction. Not imagination. Not hyperbole. The mask is off. We can now see clearly Beelzebub's face. And of course, testing the limits of any reason we have known. He madly laughs ... in our faces.

Strap on your f*cking boots this second ... and MARCH!!

We're going to smack that f*cking insect, that smelly maggot, back ... back to the stenchful primordial soup it slithered out of. We're going to stomp that bug. Squish it's yellow guts out (it's yella belly). Until only a stain remains (and I'll be on hands and knees scrubbing ... with a brass bristle brush and 409).

Shout. Scream your f*cking heads off. Ask every single person you come in contact with, every single last one. Every hour, every minute of every single day. Friend. Stranger. Family member. Neighbor. Boss. Work associate. Anyone ... everyone. Ask them ...

Are you going to vote on November Second?

DO NOT TALK POLITICS WITH STRANGERS!

I repeat ....

DO NOT TALK POLITICS WITH STRANGERS!

I repeat ....

Simply ask if they are going to vote? If they are registered? And only reply to any inquiry with: I think it's a very (very) important election. And I believe ... it's important that everyone vote. That everyone's voice is heard (Dem, Repub, Indep).

End/finis/nada mas/zip it.

Check/call/visit YOUR local registrar of voters, find the final cut off date for registration (if not yet passed?). Find any/all close/convenient locations and or methods. Have this info at the ready, at your fingertips, on the tip of your very tongue.

DO NOT TAKE YOUR BOOTS OFF (sleep with 'em on).

Call you local Republican Party office, or the nearest office of any candidate you feel strongly about. Or of course ... any local Tea Partay (and yeah, I guess you can email). Ask if they need any help, any help at all, of any kind (they hand you a broom and dustpan? You make that place sparkle. You f*cking make it shine). Volunteer to drive any elderly, infirmed, housebound, or transpo challenged individuals ... to the polls (if you can or are able).

Got five extra bucks this year? A whole ten? Pick a candidate. Go to sebben eleben, buy a money order and stamp. Mail that righteous individual your few extry ducats (you won't need em in hell, which is where we'll be ... if we fug this up).

No moulah? Maybe you have some goods or services?

Maybe somehow you ended up with a pallet or three of lightbulbs? Call around to the local lamp shop or electrical supply, or put em on eBay/Craig's List. Offer 'em up cheap ... get rid of em ... and put those coins to work. Saving the United States of America.

Run a bakery? Free coffee ... or donut to everyone who comes in ... on Tuesday, November Second, bearing an I Voted sticker. Put a sign in the window (if legal?). Maybe you have a carwash? A bowling alley, ice cream shop, video rental shop, dry cleaners. Give. Something, anything ... to every single last person who enters your business establishment, bearing the mark of the L*rd (I Voted).

Get out the word.

Get out the vote.

Get out the traitors.

March muthaf*cka's MARCH!!



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Or I'll see all you b*tches in hell.

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