Saturday, November 05, 2005

The I.D.S. Has Just Released It's Revised Guide for Treatment of Detainees

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Berne Switzerland (AP) - The International Dhimmilogical Society, yesterday released it's revised guide for the treatment of detainees. Now reproduced below in it's entirety:

1) Titanium, magnesium, or carbon fibre notebook computer (with wifi). SXGA ... (none of this lo-res crap thank you very much).

2) Personal chef for preparing meals according to the laws of a religion we do not follow. But only use as the foundation of our blood thirst.

3) Percale at minimum, no muslin. We are sensitive sorts. And inked laundry/linen service logos upon the linens, look rather tacky .... puhleeze.

4) No Jews allowed within one hundred miles of our incarceration. No women within fifty. If we so much as smell one of them stinking Jews, our heads will explode. And you'll have to clean up the mess.

5) We would prefer large screen plasma, but LCD is acceptable for watching the latest al Jazeera Jew beheading videos. Satellite or cable, no preference, as long as we have our MTV (Muslim TV).

6) Individuals in charge of our detainment, may at no time smile, crack wise or tell jokes. We are sensitive sorts. We know you are making fun of us. Allah told us. He told us to kill the Jew. Allah is always right.

7) We do not recognize your ZOG pigmonkey government, and soldiers. Allah is going to kick your ass bitch. He's pissed.

8) Give us sandals made from pigskins again, and we will spontaneously combust, against Islamic law (regarding cremation). And thus we will not get our seventy two virgins. Then we will really be pissed.

9) Thursday is nephew/sister day. We ask that you respect our privacy.

10) We are members of the Religion of Peace, and we ask that we be treated accordingly.

Article B Although not specifically outlined in the Quran, table tennis, comfy chairs, yoga, and aromatherapy wouldn't hurt.

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I.D.S. Berne Switzerland @http://www.happysmileypeople.com

Outside the Beltway's, Saturday Traffic Jam ...
http://www.outsidethebeltway.com/archives/12575/trackback/

3 Comments:

Blogger Rodney Dill said...

How 'bout each of them get a start on their 72 virgins?

12:52 PM  
Blogger AnechoicRoom said...

Now now, we are the good guys. We will at least try to do the right thing.

No matter what dem bazooms, at all those organizations who claim they are going to save the world, say.

I'd like to think that they have their hearts in the right place. It's just that they have misplaced their minds.

7:18 PM  
Blogger Rodney Dill said...

I guess there's more than one way to take my comment. I was playing along with the context of the post in unreasonable, but humorous demands. In that context, they would ask for a start on their virgins now, instead of after death.

7:16 PM  

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