Wednesday, November 30, 2005

Nude Female Midgets blogging about Pajamas Media.

[Neurologically short circuited from Ace, Jack, and SDB].

Well, it's almost shark jumping time here at Anechoic Room. We've had us a lil bitta funsky over the last while (we hope you did too). Me, I professed my boredom with the OSM crew, weeks ago. But, the train really hadn't even left the station yet, and a whole bunch of people still wanted to get onboard and ride (wtfdik? .... but I'm learning). So we don't know how much life is left, in the old horseskin rug on the floor? But she's brought us comfort, she's brought us joy. Here's hoping she can still bring us a few more tick'lz oo'dem foonay bones. So, without further ado (come on Elmo, get on with it already) .......

Leetle Red (almost .... but not quite Riding Hood), Meets Osama Bin Laden


Once upon a time, there was a female midget who lived in the city, not too far from the subway. Whenever she went out, she wore a red bustier, so everyone in Hollywood called her Leetle Red. One morning, Red asked her booker, if she could go to visit her dealer, as it had been awhile since they'd knocked some back.

"That's a good idea," her booker said. So they packed a nice little minnesota roll for Red to take to her dealer. When the stash of c-notes were ready, Red put on her tight fitting top and kissed her pimp goodbye. "Remember, go straight to your dealer's house," he cautioned. "Don't dawdle along the way and please don't talk to websurfers! The blogosphere is a dangerous place." "Don't worry Daddy'O," said Leetle Red, "I'll be careful."

But when Red noticed some sellers near the subway entrance, she forgot her promise to her handler. She scored a few rips, and watched the pigeons flit about for awhile, listened to the busses passing, and then sparked a few more.

Red was enjoying her day so much, that she didn't see Osama Bin Laden approaching out of the Taco Bell behind her... "What are you doing out here, Leetle Red?" The wacky blood drinking freakazoid asked, in a voice as friendly as he could muster. "I'm on my way to see my dealer, who lives near downtown," Red replied.

Then she realized how late she was and quickly excused herself, rushing down the subway entrance to head downtown. Osama in the meantime, took a shortcut. And with a little less gas in the tank from lead footing it, arrived at the dealers and knocked in Red's usual coded fashion.

"Oh thank goodness dear! I was worried sick that something had happened to you out on the web," said Fred, thinking that the knock was his height challenged customer. After opening the door, poor Fred did not have time to say another word, before Osama sliced off his head, munched him and then drank his blood!

Osama let out a satisfied burp, and then poked through Fred's closet to find some Pajamas that he liked. He added a frilly sleeping cap, and for good measure, dabbed some of Fred's cologne behind his pointy ears. A few minutes later, Red knocked on the door. Osama jumped into bed and pulled the covers over his nose. "Who is it?" he called in a cackly voice. "It's me, Leetle Red." "Oh how lovely! Do come in, my dear," croaked the giant cockroach.

When Red entered the small studio apartment, she could scarcely recognize her dealer. "Fred! Your voice sounds so odd. Is something the matter?" she asked. "Oh, I do have a touch of a runny nose," squeaked the insect, adding a cough at the end to prove the point. "But Fred! What big lies you have," said Red as she edged closer to the bed. "The better to decieve you with, my dear," replied the bug. "But Fred! What big crimes you have committed," said Leetle Red.

"The better to pacify my deranged followers with, my dear," replied the slimy insect. "But Fred! What stupid supporters you have," said Leetle Red her voice quivering slightly. "The better to confuse you with, my dear," buzzed the roach and he sprang up out of the bed and began to chase the little midget.

Almost too late, Red realized that the person in the bed was not her dealer, but a disgusting foul subhuman life form. She ran across the room and through the door, shouting, "Help! Militant Radical Islamist" as loudly as she could. A wordsmith who was blogging blogs nearby heard her cry and ran towards the apartment building as fast as he could. He grabbed the giant bug and made him spit out the poor black market entrepreneur who was more than a bit frazzled by the whole experience, but still not dead.

"Oh Fred, I was so scared!" sobbed Leetle Red, "I'll never speak to strangers or dawdle on the web again." "There, there, child. You've learned an important lesson. Thank goodness you shouted loud enough for this kind wordsmith to hear you!" Said Fred. The keyboard plinker who was still standing nearby, then knocked out the oversized cockroach and carried him deep into the blogosphere where he wouldn't bother people any longer. Leetle Red and her dealer then had a stiff drink and a long chat.


No members of the family Blattidae were harmed during the making of this atrocious post. And .... we definitely lied about the nude part (and well largely about the Pajamas Media part too). And, we apologize for no ever so snarky pictures, with which to follow along with. But, let us make it up to you with: Top 10 dot-com flops.


[And now a major motion picture (who da thunk?) Hoodwinked.

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Addendum; 2:35 p.m.

And, Mr. Den Beste has some more seriously strange/goofy updates ..... 20051130: PJ Media affiliates (the "G70") are beginning to run advertising from PJ Media, I see. What's strange is that they don't seem to actually be coming from PJ Media. They sure look to me (and my ad blocker) like they're from Doubleclick, one of the oldest (and most obnoxious) online advertising companies there is.

Addendum; 5:42 p.m.

Here's a nice casual stroll from Jack of All Blogs. It's a little blogcentric, but there is one CrackerJack snarf in there .... (you can just skip to number two if all you just want is the prize?)
How to start a blog network and hang onto your pajamas.


Addendum; 6:36 p.m.

And, if you can get past the inescapable sense of self gilding here, there is still an interesting read to be had as well, with a number of links I haven't peeked at yet. Of course, it's about blogging (who you gonna call?), from mister snitch! Blogging styles and traffic stats

Chizumatic linked with: 20051130: Anechoic Room takes my advice and jumps the shark.

Addendum; Thursday, Dec. 1, 9:18 a.m.


Hog gets down to the nittay and the grittay (carving up Thanksgiving turkey leftovers) serving up skin, and your choice of meat colors (it's all good).
Pajamas Media Opens its Seat Flap at Last



Open Trackbacks:

basil's blog, Supper 11-30-2005/Dessert
http://www.basilsblog.net/2005/11/supper-11-30-2005/

Outside the Beltway's, Wednesday Beltway Traffic Jam
http://www.outsidethebeltway.com/archives/12821

The Political Teen's, Open Trackbacks: Wednesday
http://thepoliticalteen.net/2005/11/30/113005/

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