Monday, February 27, 2006

Calling Occupants of Interplanetary Craft

In your mind you have abilities you know
To telepath messages through the vast unknown
Please close your eyes and concentrate
With every thought you think
Upon the recitation we're about to sing

Calling occupants of interplanetary craft
Calling occupants of interplanetary, most extraordinary craft

Duudes, like um you left some space cadets behind. You think you can swing by and pick them up on your way out of the galaxy?

Thanks, Elmo

'Traveler takes maid hostage, police say'

A hotel guest who held a maid hostage in a Miami hotel, was taken into custody Sunday after a nearly five-hour standoff. Hector Reyes, 47, of New York, kept the woman at knife point in a fifth-floor room of the Miami Sun Hotel, said Delrish Moss, a Miami police spokesman.

Reyes, who said he is from Venezuela, explained that he did it to attract media attention. He asserts the U.S. government has been tapping his telephone and following him because of his support for Venezuelan President Hugo Chávez.

Please don't forget this one.

'Prosecution: attacker on synagogue is sane and deserves life imprisonment'

Prosecution has finished investigation of armed assault on people of the Moscow synagogue in January 11. The accused, Alexander Koptsev, confessed in the crime, so case will be transferred to the court in near future ..... During the investigation, one discovered the circumstances of the attack and reasons of Koptsev’s actions. The investigators questioned his relatives, classmates, teachers, and found “nothing abnormal”.

And leave a little room in your yet to be jettisoned space garbage, would you, for when they catch this killer.

'Tashkent Rabbi Murdered by Anti-Semites'

Uzbekistan - Rabbi Avraham Yugudayev HaCohen, was murdered last Tuesday on his way to the synagogue in Tashkent. The Rabbi’s wife notified police when her husband failed to return from the synagogue. Shortly afterwards friends found him lying mortally wounded on the street near where the synagogue is located. Rabbi HaCohen, 35, died of his wounds after being evacuated to the hospital.

What's that? You charge double to pick up journos and libs. Sh*t, that's really gonna cost. F*ck, f*ck, f*ck.

US leader crashed by trying to 'pedal, wave and speak at same time'

HE MAY be the most powerful man in the world, but proof has emerged that President George Bush cannot ride a bike, wave and speak at the same time.
Scotland on Sunday has obtained remarkable details of one of the most memorably bizarre episodes of the Bush presidency: the day he crashed into a Scottish police constable while cycling in the grounds of Gleneagles Hotel.
The incident, which will do little to improve Bush's accident-prone reputation, began when he .....

Excuse me? You said what? We're on our own now. You don't have room for a billion followers of Mohammed, on your ship. Great googly moogly. That's what I thought you said. #@$%&*#+@!!!#@#

'Muslim Preacher on Temple Mount: Restore Worldwide Islamic Rule'

Sheikh Ismail Nawahda, preaching to Moslem masses on the Temple Mount in Jerusalem on Friday, has brought out into the open ..... A plan for the "Return of the Khalifate" (published secretly in 2002) by a group called "The Guiding Helper Foundation."

Sheikh Nawahda called for the renewal of the Islamic Khalifate, which would "unite all the Moslems in the world against the infidels." The system features a leader (a Khalif), who heads worldwide Islam. Assisted by a ten-man council, his decisions are totally binding on all Moslems.

According to the vision of the Khalifate, significant punishment can be meted out for 14 crimes, "accusing a chaste person of fornication," "not performing the formal prayer," and "not fasting during Ramadan." The Foundation recommends working to restore the Moslem dictatorship using a system of groups around the world. The purpose is so that the "enemies of Islam" who "will definitely try to stop us" will have a "much harder task, if not impossible, if they are faced with a myriad of small groups of differing locations, ethnicities," etc.

You know what ..... I really don't know what to do now. Hey Klaatu have any ideas? Aroma therapy?

'USB fragrance oil burner'

Ha hah, very funny. That's space humor right? Kind of like your twisted version of: 'take two aspirin and call me in the morning.'


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