Sunday, February 26, 2006

Kidneys, livers, and hearts.

Tehran, Iran, Feb. 24 - The Supreme Commander of Iran’s Islamic Revolutionary Guards Corps, General Safavi accused the United States, Britain, and Israel of carrying out Wednesday’s bomb attack.

“We condemn the insolence of the mercenaries of Zionism, the British and the Americans in their outrage against the sacred shrine of Imam Hadi.” “Those who masterminded this catastrophe should know that they will soon receive a heavy slap on the face from God.” “Muslim nations will not put up with this impudence.” Safavi called on Iranians to “show their hatred of the Zionist, British, and American mercenaries ..... ”



Tehran, Iran, Feb. 24 -Ayatollah Mohammed Emami-Kashani told worshippers in Tehran during his Friday prayers sermon, “Israel, and the two sinister organisations Mossad and the CIA, are behind the disaster in Samarra”


Israel, Tel Aviv, Feb 26 (Reuters)
- Just released secret documents purport to show that the IDF, the Mossad, and the International Union of Cartoon Characters (I.U.C.C.), are preparaing for a large organ harvest, come the soon expected attack on Iran. Those in need of transplant organs have placed sizeable deposits in advance, for the organ of their choice/need (according to the documents). The secret plans were reported to fall out out Calvin's pocket while engaged in a tussle with Hobbes, at a local nightclub. The club's manager was quoted as saying that Calvin gets lit now and again, but he's never been a problem before.

In other news, Cartman, Eric, and Kenny are still in seclusion after receiving death threats from the Imam King Dildo. Kyle, according to some tabloid reports, has had a nose job, as well chin and cheek implants. Daffy Duck, president of the I.U.C.C., when reached for comment, said that there was no truth to the organ harvest story. And that he was sick and tired of muzzy Eurotrash trying to f*ck Goofy as well. Who he says is currently receiving treatment for stress and exhaustion at an undisclosed location.

Daffy said further, that there was absolutely no truth to the rumour he was a degenerate cartoon character. Or that any of his friends were pigs.

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New reports as the situation in Loony Tunes, Iran warrant.

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