Tuesday, February 28, 2006

An open letter to the President of Iran

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Dear Moo-moo Okk Maude E. Knee Jodd;

As per your request, I have stopped attending the secret Jooo ceremonies, where the blood of moose limbs are used to make the holy ritual bread (Danish pastry). And, I do admit to having eaten hooknosed bagels in the past. But those days are now over (peas be upon her nipples).

With respect Moo-moo, Mr. President, I am however ..... having a difficult time coming to grips with your latest edict, regards the cartoons Tom and Jerry (please withhold your Fatwa for a moment o' grape one). Yes, certainly, some Yids aren't as steadfast in their personal hygiene as say the Sudanese Gent, from a couple of days ago who was just married to a goat. Or, even a number of months back, another friend of Mo's, who was dating a camel. But, that's neither here nor there [truth be told, I showered and shaved this morning (peas be upon her nipples)].

Well Moo-moo, see here's the thing ..... I cannot tell a lie. Yesterday afternoon, against all Elmo/Anechoic Room rules (about daytime television), at 1:00 p.m. PST, on the cable channel known as the Cartoon Network. I Elmo, with knowledge aforehand, did in fact, watch the blaspheming cat and mouse; O.G. Thomas, and Ice Ice Jerry, engage in utterly indifferent and depraved hilarity.

Please forgive me o' King of the soon to be glowing land of glass. I just could not see any political overtones, undertones, hues, or shades of the much vaunted Mossad mind control. Yes, of course the cat looked kind of stoopid now and again [maybe he is a friend of yours?. But that would be projecting (I'm leaning towards an LCD flat panel myself)]. And sure, the mouse was indeed kinda sneaky now and again. And yes, I did see the mouse smile (talk about scary).

But mostly I was filled with joy and laughter. Even a warm fuzzy feeling from the backwards subliminal messages (the Golden Rule) that were implanted by the broadcast sponsor Mermadia Barbie . Which the cartoon was so obviously infused with (requires removal of aluminum foil hat for max effect). Of course, it is possible that Mattel is owned by Jooos, and that comedy is a devious plot to kill people with laughter? But, then again, I'm not a member of Stormfront or Al Qaeda.

So, Moo-moo, Thanks for a fabulous hour of truly fine and wonderful relaxation.

Signed, Have You Seen Top Cat?

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