Sunday, March 12, 2006

Suppose the internet told a joke, and nobody laughed?

Suppose the internet

told a joke,

and nobody


I mean ...... was the joke ever even told in the first place

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6:13 a.m.

Yes, the world keeps wishing, and hoping, and wishing that it has heard the last of Paris Hilton. But, we all know it has not. Possible future outcomes of our little slutsky's life? (No large crystal orb needed for these predictions)

1) Car wreck (high speed or drunken, or both).
2) Drug overdose.
3) Suicide (see number two).
4) HIV (bongs or dongs, take your pick).
5) Converts to Islam (see number three).
6 [A]) Goes to college, writes a book, gets married, settles down, has a family, runs for U.S. senate, is elected. Runs for president. Loses. Runs in the following election. Wins.
6 [B]) Elmo (your blog host), is really a space alien, and is secretly married to Cindy Sheehan. Together on the planet Mushy Craniums, they have two little idiots of their own, named Vapid, and Empty. Paris petitions to return to the planet after being kicked off ten years ago. Her request is denied. Her spaceship burns up on reentry after not receiving permission to land.

'Paris Hilton is a Dying Trend'

Jack be nimble, Jack be quick. Jack burn't his lil' pecker playing with a candlestick.

'British FM: Israel and Iran Both Potential Threats'

England's Foreign Minister Jack Straw says the world should worry about disabling Israel's nuclear capabilities as much as it is concerned with preventing Iran from going nuclear. Straw said Thursday that Britain is seeking a "nuclear-free Middle East."



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