Wednesday, April 26, 2006

Spain Goes Bananas

'Socialists: Give apes human rights'

The Spanish Socialist Party will introduce a bill in the Congress of Deputies calling for "the immediate inclusion of (simians) in the category of persons, and that they be given the moral and legal protection that currently are only enjoyed by human beings. They possess sufficient mental faculties and emotional life to justify their inclusion in the community of equals."

'Police search for killer chimps.' (Their lawyer said that they are innocent, and he will request a low bail if and when his clients are arrested).

FREETOWN, Sierra Leone (AP) -- Police hunted Monday for chimpanzees that escaped from a Sierra Leone preserve and mauled a group of sightseers -- a(n) attack that left one local man dead and at least four other people hospitalized.

The U.S. Embassy warned Americans against traveling to the Tacugama Chimpanzee Sanctuary, from where the chimps escaped before the Sunday attack on a taxicab filled with Americans and others. The Sierra Leonean driver died as the chimps ripped his body apart.

Evolution, Rec Execs Now Smarter Than Monkees
'Warner slashes DVD prices to fight piracy in China'.

Men and the Price of Their Toys
(Do the linky)

Abracadabra, I Want to Reach Out and Grab Ya
'Magician David Copperfield robbed after show at Kravis Center'

The illusionist and assistants Cathy Daly and Mia Volmut were walking toward their tour bus when thugs approached them about 11:15 p.m. The group had gone to a steakhouse for dinner after Copperfield's sixth and last (West Palm Beach) show.

A Malibu pulled up behind the group, and two of the four young men in the car came out holding handguns. One ordered Daly to "give me what you have." Daly handed over $400 from her pockets. Riley, meanwhile, allegedly stuck a gun in Mia Volmut's face and asked for her purse, and she, too, gave it up. In it were 200 euros, $100, her passport, plane tickets and a Razr cellphone.

When Copperfield's turn came, Riley was bamboozled. Copperfield pulled out all of his pockets for Riley to see he had nothing, even though he had a cellphone, passport and wallet stuffed in them. Riley jumped behind the wheel, and the car took off.

Copperfield read the license plate to Daly as she called 911, and cops pulled over the car at 45th Street and Broadway at 11:25 p.m. Copperfield and the women were taken quickly to the location in a squad car, and they identified the handcuffed youths as the robbers. The loot was recovered.

6:30 p.m. Kids, what did you learn in class today?

'School Sends Kids to Closed Amusement Park'

RENO, Nev. - Four bus loads of students from O'Brien Middle School made the four-hour trip to Six Flags Marine World in Vallejo, Calif., only to find the amusement park's gates locked Monday. The school-sponsored trip was supposed to reward top students. It was pretty much a fiasco," said (a) Washoe County School District spokesman.

School officials said the $50 fee will be refunded, and the tour company that arranged the trip has agreed to pay for the next one. "The tour company neglected to check the schedule," Mulvenon said. Principal Scott Grange said the school was even given printed tickets with Monday's date on them.

Flush Twice, It's a Long Way to Stockholm

'Sweden: IAF participation a dealbreaker'

Sweden has decided to withdraw from an international air force exercise to be held in Italy next month after learning that units from the Israeli air force will participate. A Swedish government spokesman said Wednesday (the aim of the drill was to prepare for future cooperation in international peacekeeping operations), "the participation of the Israeli Air Force has changed the prerequisites of the exercise." Defense Minister Bjorklund in a statement: Sweden pulled out because a state "that does not participate in international peacekeeping missions" would be part of the exercise.

Yep you f*cking smelly turd, you've got that right. Every single offer made by the Israelis for the last forever. Offers of emergency aid, either during terrorist attacks or natural disasters. Has been turned down. As little as two days ago, a large number of ambulances and medics were standing by the Egyptian border with lights flashing. They were never allowed to cross, to go to Dahab and lend emergency aid to the slaughtered.

Flush twice, it's a long way to Stockholm.

The Brussels Journal gets in on the Spanish ape story, saying it smacks of speciesism. The Spaniards excluding lesser apes, and dolphins from their set in the future, yet to film sci-fi love fantasy.


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