The Obama Dictionary
The incomplete online reference for all teengs Barack (bbbbut dddon't call me Hussein) Obama. Whereas, prior to the dog days of summer, not much was known about ... The One. Now, as we are rapidly approaching the November election. An outline and narrative of the Messiah, has indeed emerged.
You Sir must be mistaken, the party of Ch-ch-ch-change and H-h-h-hope would nevah engage in such. You must be one of them racists? [No (?). Funny .... you look white]. John McCain is seventy two years old, and sheet ... I just love old folks, really I do. Why some of my neighbors and best friends are old.
Well I'm kinda busy right now L*rd, you know .... what with the campaign and all. Whaddya want?
Oh no Elmo ..... arrogant. What a racist mofo you are. Why everyone knows thats code!
"campaign like Obama's that is focused solely on victory .... "
CBS news wakes up (for a whole entire thirty seconds) oond smells de java.
Sure ... everyone knows I can walk on water, but have you seen me fly?
You know when Barry first asked me to be his running mate, I had to assure him that it wouldn't rub off. Yeah, he was a little worried at first, but he's coming along.
Did Barry mention that he's Black?
Yes (and howdy) ... let us give credit where due. Barry is truly a master class Bullsheeter. One of the very, very best. 'Bout good as any ever [come down the (proverbial) pike]. We haven't been witness to this level of bovine doo flingery since ..... well, the last Dem administration [Bill was really something to watch wasn't he ... (course Larry and Sergey's do no evil is right up there)].
So honesty and integrity demand ... that we award this virtual, battery operated, quartz cow pie clock. To the distinguished Senator from Illinois, for his larger than life talent. Congratulations Senator!
(Oh, and if that President thing doesn't work out? You can always have a second career).
I promised my constituents that I would ACCEPT public campaign financing. And I ... me, personally (face to face). Promised John McCain, that I would accept public campaign financing (ka-ching foo!). And gauldurnit, I've only snared six hundred million dollars so far (you leel commie beeches get your pank selves over to PayPal, and git mo bizzy).
Then again ... mebbe you widdle wibs spell change, a lil diff than moi?
CHILD'S EYES (through a dropped on his head):
As President I will meet with any nut, kook, homicidal maniac, or baby killer. Anytime, anyplace. Without precondition. So that I can witness ... and listen, firsthand the subtle depth and pithy nuance of their ideas (kill the Jew), and goals (kill the Jew).
DIPSTICK on a TWIG
Furrowing one's brow .... sternly feigning indignation at your opponent's political currency. All the while slinging da nastiest stank mud ... at all and sundry (across the aisle). Delusional. Like checking the dipstick on a twig. Rather pointless (no motor, no oil tank). A clear measure of the man, Barack Obama.
Pig or pit bull, it's lipstick leetle libs (deal with it).
FAIR and BALANCED
In the vacuum of libwuhl space (a dark and skeery place). This election .... is proceeding apace. You know .... the usual Rethug this, Booshmonkey that, Cheney horned puppeteer ... buh blah, buh blah, buh blah.
Toss in the word racist, say every third word or so. In every other article, story, report, analysis, or newscast. And everything is going according to plan.
Why hardly anyone on the left even notices the smell. At all.
My way or da highway b*tches.
Only and just a word in the dictionary. Suggesting some libs actually look up the meaning of the word? (You must be joking).
Here .... here .... here .... or here.
Or even here.
I said a FLIP FLOP
the flippie the flippie
to the flip flip flop,
a you dont stop
Summer footwear purdy much retired by da Masta'blasta heez-self .... Keeery. But in deference to some great Libs past, Obama has resurrected the mantra, in oober spectacular fashion [really, nobody does it better. Period (comments made before the surge, comments made after)]. (But) for reasons of personal safety, Obie has now replaced the cheap generic plastic foam sandals, with Gravity Defyer's instead. In order to better protect his knees, from the wear and tear of 24/7-serial backflips.
And certainly, his adroitness has not gone unnoticed by the U.S. Olympic gymnastics coaching staff. One of whom (quoted off camera during the Olympics) said: "Well, obviously .. he ain't thirteen like most of the Chinese squad. But Jiminy Cricket, this guy can really fly backwards and upside down. A natural ... the likes of which we have never seen before."
Anybody here seen Nicolas? Nic ... are you out there buddy?
Sarkozy will save us! When regional conflicts expand, and things starts to really heat up in the Middle East (foregone conclusion). Look for Barry to pick up the phone, and call France (does Nicolas speak english?).
GARBAGE: The American Flag, conservatives, persons with values, integrity (or the tiniest shred of dignity).
Without being enlightened by Hollywood's towering minds .... or showered by the glory of their most beneficent seers. WTF would we ever do? How would we survive?
President of the Bus Rider's Union (the wheels o' the bus go round and round ...)
Don't taze me bro .... I can get off the bus all by myself.
Betty White: Isn't that precious.
Madonna: Now in smellovision.
Sandra Bernhard: An advocate FOR women's violence.
Vote for Obama or the f*cking Champagne gets it!
Stay classy there Hollywood .... stay classy.
If I've left out any of the this weeks's crop of poptarts and celebutantes, in this tiny roundup. Who have confused their cute faces, trick pelvi, or B movie credits. For a signpost on the autobahn of political discourse? I of course apologise.
RELATED: More than 10,000 jet into Bali for global warming conference.
Oh you so funny .... (stoopid f*ckin neocons/ha ha).
HONESTY: Principles? Honor? Truth? Civic mindedness? Doing your job? Doing the right thing?
Shirley ... you jest.
IRAN (you ran, all us liberals run from Iran):
Come on now Barry, I've told you before. It's puff, puff, pass ....
Not in Iran lil b*tches, not in Iran. There it be puff, puff ... pass the rope (we're talkin' nylon Babe).
And the coming war? Yeah, juss da usual D-ranged paranoia of them whacky Joo neocons. Nothing to see here folks .... move along
ORWELL: In his grave .... speening at roughly 7200 rpm.
POODLES and CHINA: If and when one a ya Dem fruitloops, munch down on a fifty dollar burger? Then uh please .... do drop me a line, and tell me how it tastes?
PRESIDENT (of the Galaxy):
All those who vote for me, will be given transport through the stars. Including passage and free entrance to BarryLand. Where food, medicine, clothing, housing, electricity, music downloads, transportation and fuel, are all free. The spaceships begin leaving for the Orion Nebula, in five minutes.
Just simply show your boarding pass ....
.... as you can see the flying saucers have already begun arriving.
Those of you with special needs ....
Please use the gate on my right ... and board in an orderly fashion.
There's plenty of room in BarryLand for everyone. Though there may be a wait for some, until all the saucers have arrived. So please be patient.
We want to emphasize no pushing and no shoving.
Please remain calm, everyone will get a seat ...
Our only mission is to ....
RACE: Usually a speed contest between two or more contestants. Now a race to the bottom, by many members of the Obamanation (even a plethora of MSM talking heads). Finding that the/their (longtime) rigged election meme, now more closely associated with .... themselves. They ever so proudly display this lovely (finely crafted) steaming pile: racism. For all to admire ... (ain't she a beaut, take a picture of me with it!).
Illinois Senator Barack Obama, could bleach his skin, don a lustrous blonde wig, (and) change his name to Bjorn Svennson. It won't change his complete lack of depth, and experience in foreign policy ... in a time of war.
RACIST: Are you perchance white? Then yeppers .... you are a racist. An unhip Republican .... an uncool conservative? .... double racist. Planning on voting for Johnnie Mac? Treble your score, you mudderfoogin stupid honkey redneck cracker (waste o'space). You're too stupid to recognise the one true Messiah [so please, just kill yourself already (and do the world a favor)].
RACISM: By the numbers ....
By total number of votes cast, more whites will vote for Obama, than blacks. As a percentage (of those blacks voting for Obama), more will vote for him. Because of the color of his skin. Than the percentage (of whites), voting against Obama, because of same.
That's the F*cking News.
Carelessly throwing putrid and malevolent accusations at people you disagree with politically? Cowardly (just like people who actually do wear/hide under white sheets).
Reading my local, yellow stained commie rag ... the L.A. Daily News. One would NEVER know that more people watched Senator John McCain's televised acceptance speech, at his convention. Than watched the ascencion/coronation of his Barry'ness, the prior week [or that 70,000,000 people (that's right .... seventy million), in the U.S., watched Governor Palin's debate with Lord Verbosity].
Front page (repeat ... front page), that bird cage liner touted how near ev'ry sentient being in our universe, watched Barack's convention nomination. Presenting television ratings numbers. As if confirmation of the entire galaxy's tumbler's aligning. And the enormous creaky door opening wide, to a new tomorrow. A proof/rationalization .... of/for the newspaper's daily loving praise, of Barry.
But that pesky thing called truth (courtesy of the blogosphere). Gives us the needed illumination, that the Daily News fails to provide. Johnnie Mac, but a week later, out rated Obama. Did the Daily New's make an addition to their political campaign coverage? A correction, displaying the final accurate numbers? (Rather than the panty waisted obfuscation they did print). No.
Sometimes even the truth is too hard to bear, much too hard ... for the scummy little fifth/filth columnists. So they soldier on. Ammunition bag (filled with propaganda) at the ready. Proud of their mission. The death and destruction of truth.
And with the surge having not proved a failure, and ever so desperately needing another issue (with which to boost the Obama campaign). Resort to nearly every single day (for the last six months). Banging the poor economy/Bush's fault drum, on the front page. Over and fookin over again [and this second October week, wetting themselves, when their efforts (spreading manure around the tree base) bear fruit]. Their glee (front page, above the fold, large banner), growing by leaps and bounds, when some poor lost soul descends into hell.
PORTER RANCH - Monday's news of an out-of-work San Fernando Valley financial analyst killing his wife, three sons and mother-in-law before committing suicide offered a chilling symbol of the nation's economic crisis.
Watching libwuhl brains implode, not pretty. The end of truth, more so. And if you blink, you just may miss the very end of atomic news.... (at the Daily News ... total daily circulation declined 14.2 percent).
(Go ahead little blogger, ya know ya wanna) say bye bye.
VOTE or DIE:
Unless of course ... you're already dead? [Or in prison, or a paroled felon, or Mickey Mouse .... (in which case vote early, vote often)].
And if perchance you ain't dead? Well then, just maybe those good little flower children can help you out? After all ...
it's the very least they can do for their Dear Leader. And well it's just them Republican folks ...., (or the odd PUMA). So really it's O.K..
And the theft or destruction of Three Hundred McCain signs in your neighborhood? Why that's just (Liberal's) democracy in action.