Fun with Headlines

Beirut bombings violate humanitarian law: UN

We of course would change that to ..... U.N. bloviations violate obscenity laws: Elmo.


WHY THERE'S BLOOD IN LEBANON

Hmmm .... because there are Islamists there? What did I win? The opprobriation of lilly liver'd libs? Fabulous!


CAN ISRAEL WIN?

Of course not silly. Why they even bother is beyond me [every liberal knows and loves the futility argument (surrender to Islam, save yourself, save the world, surrender now)]. And ..... since it's only Jews the Islamists are killing in Israel, with their continuous nonstop rocket fussilade into the State of Israel's population centers (with the occasional Arab thrown in for good measure). I really don't see any reason to try and stop Hezbollah. Do you? Allahu Akbar.


Fun with Liberals

Rice makes surprise visit to Beirut

F*cking brilliant Condi.



No Fun for Elmo

Recent changes in the atomic world of this blog's host, have taken their toll. While the implantation of a pacemaker a couple of months back. Did slow us down a little, and changed the lens of life a bit. It sapped our spirit more than we would have thought possible.

And new revenue streams that we've been nurturing for some time, are slower than a snail with a flat tire, in arrivng. Prolonging the onset of a much desired vacation, and even relocation to some more cosmopolitan digs. And well, trying to continue to blog on this Windows 98/Pentium II box is a brutal exercise in masochism that I no longer wish to engage in.

Driver Eight is gunna take a break for a while. I'll be back ... a few days .... a few weeks, a few months? With no promises of bigger, or better or any such fluffy nonsense. But hopefully a little more relaxed, rested, and with realigned spirits.

Elmo

CBS News/Washington Post Handy Pocket Reference Guide to the Israeli/Lebanon War

Allowing you, the CBS News viewer and Washington Post reader, the ability to more easily understand the machinizations of the current tete a tete in northern Israel, and southern Lebanon.



You ..... the bright, happy singing dancing [with self/Ipod)], and oh so hip (and hipper than thou reader/viewer). Will now be able to instantly recognize Israel at a glance [in our photos and video (impress your friends at Starbucks!)] . 1) Israel always wear the black hat. Are always big and brawny. Are always overpowering. Mean dem Jews, dey is just mean, mean, mean. Did I say mean? (You betcha).



2) Da Joos are always disrespectful to Islam (and Hezbollah), by employing women in their army. The new, just out 2006 Guide to Political Correctnes, sez it is an insult to all Muslims. Especially since the Jewess' still have their clitori (oh the humanity!)



3) All matrons of Hezbollah families, not only resemble Mother Teresa. They are also her descendants.



4) Real actual members of Hezbollah, can easily be discerned by their attire. Having either angel's wings, halos, or both.



Sometimes, in the heat of battle, it can be confusing keeping track of the combatants. 5) [A surprise/pop quiz] Can you guess which side this brave warrior struggles for? [Congratulations! You have now earned an honorary membership in CBS' Virtual Fifth Column Brigade .... ]



6) [Quiz continues] Or which side these soldiers fight for? (Video capture from last night's CBS evening news broadcast).



7) This group?



8) Or even this individual?



9) [Bonus extra credit] In this photo from the Washington Post, members of both sides of the war, can be seen in the same photograph. Can you tell which side is which?



10) [Secret double extra credit] (Multiple choice) Every member of Hezbollah ..... is A) Pure as the driven snow. B) Pure as the driven snow. C) Pure as the driven snow. D) Pure as the driven snow. (We know, this was a tough one).



11) [Triple sooper dooper extry credit (last question ... whew!)] And every citizen of the State of Israel is a ghoul, who delights in the civilian deaths. Among the population that Hezbollah is using as shields/actively preventing their countrymen's escape to the north across the river. True, or False?


So little space cowboy.... how did you do? Seven out of seven? Holy mackerel! Are you sure you're not Juan Cole? I am impressed. What's that .... not everyone got them all correct . Ooops, sorry. Here's a little refresher.



Sunday, 9:00 a.m.

Open Trackbacks ..... my Technorati metrics have dropped below one hundred thousand (from a high of above fifty thousand) ..... sniff, sniff (wipe tear), sniff. I'm not much into 'blogtech' and promotion, but one has to at least keep their head above the water, if they are gunna stay in and swim around the blogosphere.


Expose the Left,
Stop the ACLU, Point Five, Right Wing Nation, Stuck on Stupid, basil's blog, TMH's Bacon Bits,
Wizbang!s Carnival of the Trackbacks LXXVIII

Euphemisms on Parade

"When hostilities began"

"When the conflict began"

Hostility began when the worshippers of the moongod evolved a thumb, and had their very first thought (kill the Jew). Today's conflict began in a more formal fashion (as it were), after the establishment of the State of Israel. Fashion being hijacking an airplane, kidnapping/taking hostages. Explosives stitched to a vest, fitted to the torso of a follower of Mohammed. Who then proceeds to a crowded restaurant, cafe, or nightclub, or boards a crowded city bus. Then releases the trigger. Detonating twenty pounds of high yield explosive, embedded with an array of shrapnel and blood thinning compound. Hostility is singular, not plural. We just want them to stop. We don't have to hate them in order to try. If we hated them, all the flower children would know, as much as they want to believe in their collective self deception, that we do. Militant Radical Islam is a pustulous gangrenous cancer on the arse of life. To be excised then flushed down humanity's toilet. Nothing more.


"Organization"

You know, just like the Red Cross, the Salvation Army, or Habitat for Humanity. Not a bunch of flesh eating bugs holed up in a cave, eagerly awaiting their next drink of Jooo blood.


"Cease fire"

"Immediate cessation of hostilities"

A chance for the insects to find a new cave. So remember (if you would) ..... Please be nice to the bugs, they haven't finished killing the Jew yet.

CNN .... The Most Trusted Name in Shoes

Been watching a little bit of CNN the last few days. Last night, while they were quoting Hezbollah, calling the individual/s quoted: "representatives." But, when quoting the Israelis, CNN ominously added the comment: "we don't know if that's true."

Tuesday had some bozo racing/running around Beirut (with video camera man following). The CNN correspondent's nose closely aligned with the posterior of the "Hezbollah media representative." As he leads them to a building struck by the Israelis. CNN dude while running/following: "are we safe, is this safe, are you sure this is safe?" [Would be a coup for CNN and Hezbollah, to have one of CNN's reporters taken out by an Israeli aerial bombardment on live televison].

They arrive at the shelled building and Ahmed sez: "See. Does this look like Hezbollah military headquarters to you?" (As if he would take his lackey in tow, to the very same spot Hezbollah terrorists are actually holed up). Quite the lil dog and pony show it was. (Needless to say I found it very amusing).


More of the same kind of silly nonsense this morning online (from the most trusted name in shoes).

Israeli special forces, Hezbollah clash on Lebanese border

BEIRUT, Lebanon (CNN) -- Intense clashes .... Israeli special forces .... Hezbollah guerrillas .... Lebanese border .... fierce fighting .... ninth day .... heavy machine-gunfire .... rocket-propelled grenades.

Militants destroyed an Israeli tank and an armored bulldozer with anti-tank missiles, as Israel continued its operation to wipe out Hezbollah's militia capabilities in southern Lebanon. (Watch what civilians under siege are doing to survive -- 2:10)

The Israeli military estimates that its air assault on Lebanon has destroyed about half of Hezbollah's military strength. However, it is employing ground forces to destroy the remaining artillery, many of which is believed to be hidden in caves, tunnels and basements. (Watch what Israeli strikes have wrought -- 3:58)

Lebanese Prime Minister Fouad Siniora (on Wednesday) said more than 300 people (are) dead and about 1,000 injured in the Israeli offensives. (Watch as hospitals in Lebanon are overwhelmed by wounded -- 2:23)


What can I say? Quality reporting and journamuslim like that, just gets me all hot and bothered.


















I think I better take a cold shower and cool off .....




Outside the Beltway linked with OTB Caption Jam/Other Humor: Anechoic Room has been watching CNN.

The Mudville Gazette's Open Post

What a Difference a Day (or two) Makes

I didn't watch MSNBC on Monday, the day after I sent a torpedo midships below their waterline. Just couldn't bring myself to do it. But I did find myself open minded to the possibility on Tuesday. And was quite surprised to see a one hundred eighty degree about face. Where unbelievable amateurism was running amuck at the director's console and producer's desk on Sunday. Tuesday evening, it was as if they were pandering, just to me.

Rita Cosby was at the helm, and obvious effort was being made to show the Israeli POV sympathetically. Even Brian Williams was up in a helo over Lebanon, for a looksie at murder's unclothed birth place. I can account for the difference/s in a number of ways. All speculative. But ultimately what was seen on Sunday was an embarassment, however temporal.

There are no magic gates one passes through, entering a building that houses a television studio. No secret handshake or password required to be on air talent. I know, having done it one or twice more than thirty years ago. For a quite minor L.A. station, on an even more minor, weekly feature news program. I also filmed/edited a story or two (pizza eating contest, and Wednesday Cruise Night/Van Nuys Blvd.). The gatekeepers there were grizzled old newspaper and TV veterans. Who knew their jobs. I was never privy to their politics. It was something I never even thought of or considered.

I've been blessed to be exposed to a truly wide array of learning experiences in this life. Benefitting from the largesse and skill of others. While I never pursued a career in Hollyweird, I certainly did have an interest early on in film. And quite rather enjoyed assembling snippets of film into a continuum. I don't much care to know the motiviation of others in their pursuit of media careers. But I won't sit still for being subjected to their personal politics in/on a non opinion/editorial show/broadcast. That's what a blog is for.

It's possible in the space of two days, a tectonic shift has occured in coverage by the domestics. Accepting their innability to change/alter the perception of Israel/Lebanon. Or maybe even understanding it is not their place to do so. Or perhaps ..... not wanting to be on the 'wrong' side. Events happen. They unfold. Where one used to know news was considered neutral. I'm no longer sure those now in, and coming to the business of news, do.

Ever vigilant I shall be. Holding on to a world gone by. A time passed. When right was right, and wrong was wrong. And murderers were rancid viscous scum. Not insurgents, militants, members of a charitable social order, expressants of their own personal religious freedom, oppressed, or victims. I know of nothing in this life more despicable and vile than murder. It rocks the very foundation of my soul. It disturbs the last vestiges of calm I have known.

I wish that it were gone from our world. That it ever will be is another matter. But attempting to change the perception of reality, mask it, or deflect it whole. Will not change it.

TTFN (That's the Foogin News) .....


8:45 a.m.

And now for something completely different

Nude man beats car with pigeon

SUFFOLK, Va., July 18 (UPI) -- Two Whaleyville, Va., residents were stunned when a naked man accosted their car in their driveway and began hitting it with their pet pigeon.

The couple had just pulled into their driveway Friday night when Juan Lopez, 30, of Virginia Beach, appeared naked and began striking their car with the bird, the Virginian Pilot reported Tuesday. They fled to a neighbor's house and called police. A Suffolk, Va., police spokeswoman told the newspaper Lopez was "obviously having some sort of issues that night."


2:15 p.m.

What's in a name? That which we call a rose
By any other word would smell as sweet.








4:40 p.m.

I was born one mornin' when the sun didn't shine
Picked up a shovel and I walked to the mine
I hauled Sixteen Tons of number 9 coal
And the straw-boss said, "Well, bless my soul"

(Chorus:)

You haul Sixteen Tons, whadaya get?
Another older and deeper in debt
Saint Peter don't you call me cause I can't go
I owe my soul to the company store

Repeat Chorus

Born one morning it was drizzle and rain
Fightin' and Trouble are my middle name
I was raised in a canebrake by an old mama lion
And no high-toned woman make me walk the line

Repeat Chorus

See me comin' better step aside
A lot of men didn't and a lot of men died
I got one fist of iron and the other of steel
And if the right one don't get ya, the left one will

Sixteen tons? Twenty three tons? What's the f*cking difference ...... just squish those stanky bugs already.

MSNBC/Muslim State National Broadcasting Company

AFP via Drudge

As I've said many times before, I'm no military strategist. So exactly when/how/if Israel will strike Iran escapes me. Though I have zero doubt that the nanosecond the nuclear threat materializes, Nena's 1983/84 hit will resonate:


Panic bells, it's red alert.
There's something here from somewhere else.
The war machine springs to life.
Opens up one eager eye.
Focusing it on the sky.
Where 99 red balloons go by.

99 Decision Street.
99 ministers meet.
To worry, worry, super-scurry.
Call the troops out in a hurry.
This is what we've waited for.
This is it boys, this is war.
The president is on the line
As 99 red balloons go by.

99 Knights of the air
Ride super-high-tech jet fighters
Everyone's a superhero.
Everyone's a Captain Kirk.
With orders to identify.
To clarify and classify.
Scramble in the summer sky.
As 99 red balloons go by.


And I have zero doubt that if conventional munitions cannot end Iran's nuke party. Israel will swing The Big Stick ..... as many times as finality dictates. But the mechanics of what is currently taking place with Iran and Hezbollah, Syria and Hamas, in Lebanon/Israel/Gaza, I will leave to the mil stratergery bloggers. The larger tipping point hasn't yet passed (we'll know it when it does). Though certainly we are close.

[ World War III Began Yesterday, October 26, 2005. But the World Did Little Note. (Only time will prove me right or wrong)]

Israel may decide not to wait (certainly there are sound reasons for waiting). The complexity astounding (factoring in Iraq). Which does not bring us to today's topic, but we are here none the less.


The State of the Media

My latest case of rising blood temperature, was brought about by the hobbyist magazine Popular Photography & Imaging, the July 2006 issue. Which I was reading last week, when I stumbled across an exposed pile of shite, between the magazine's covers. Not available online.

The War on Photographers, by Neal Matthews

I read a hobbyist magazine ..... for the hobby. Not to be subjected to the politics of its writers or editors, and the amateurish tripe they present. Unfortunately this churlishness is catching and spreading (my blood temp further rising watching MSNBC, yesterday afternoon). The Popular Photography hit piece an uncontrolled tintinabulous Alarm de Orwell:

"A security car pulls up and parks behind him."
"A Torrance prowl car zooms up the street."
'Four cops walk up in a SWAT-type formation.'
"A cop grabs his thumb with one hand and searches him with another."
"amateur and professional photographers all over the country are being stopped and harassed ... "
"sworn police officers and rent-a-cops alike are routinely hounding people .... in supposedly sensitive areas"
"the police made him sit cross legged on the cold concrete ... "
"After the 20-minute shakedown (and driving away) one cop chillingly said over the loudspeaker: 'Thanks Jim'."

(And yes, the article did manage to mention President Bush).


Then yesterday, during dinner, watching the tube. MSNBC going nosntop on Lebanon. Showing a direct live continuous feed from Al-Jazeera (or Pallee-TV?). The first few minutes incorporating the embedded Arabic language watermark, which then disappeared for the duration. It only got better after that. The studio talking head then got on and rode around on "The Cycle of Violence." By this time my circuits were short circuiting from my blood going vaporous.

MSNBC repeating the juvenilia about the crude Katushas. Anyone seen pictures of the business end of one? I have. The design sophistication shown, the smooth highly skilled manufactured shape/metallurgy of the nozzle, puts to rest that nonsense. Whatever the rocket's outward chassis may appearance be.

And yet they fail to mention the level of design and manufacture of the guided Iranian missiles targetting the city of Haifa. The frass swirling around inside the studio continued. Then MSNBC provided direct translation of Palestinian TV, not just images.

But dear blog reader ... it gets worse. They gave a platform to the Lebanese Foreign Minister, Fuad Seniora: "Hizbollah didn't consult with him/them, it isn't Lebanon's fault. Israel are the terrorists." That broadcast was followed by Chris Matthew's, with a Brylcreem type reporting from Lebanon: "Israel is responsibile for the growth of Militant Radical Islam by their actions." (A loose paraphrase. He speaking straight faced. Ostensibly presenting hearsay in support of a two sided presentation? But more likely unable to control spewing a bolster of his own learned opinion).

On and on they go ..... is the Israeli response appropriate/proportional? (I'm not sure what response they deem acceptable to an open military attack across an international border. Or intentional attacks using guided missiles, on the population centers of a sovereign nation? If Hezbollah doesn't want war, methinks they shouldn't start one. And If Lebanon doesn't wan't Israel to respond, they should toss Hezbollah out. Or if they don't support them, perhaps they shouldn't argue their politics. Or is that too complex?)

My TV viewing ended with Anderson Cooper, CNN 360 degrees. "There is a real sense of war here," regards Israel's response. And yet last week and the week before when the Islamists were killing Jews, the media's mindset was ...... that it was merely a negotiating tool for a prisoner swap. Nothing more.


Which brings us to yet even more delightful thinking from (feel free to add your own quotation marks) professional journalism. From our ole pals at the Los Angeles Times.

Breaking News by William Powers.

Shrinking circulation! Fact-checking goofs! Partisan reporting! Despite the scare headlines, journalism's sob story may still have a happy ending.

Wherein Mister Powers touches all the bases, and yet still seems to cry a few tears for old journalism/ists. And how possibly modern times may be to blame (you know the net .... the blogosphere, yada yada). Historied televison news, gloried old newspapers are now being disrespected (by ideologues). Hey Mister Powers, it ain't the technology or the times. It's the smell.



The Mudville Gazette has a short, sharp look at the military goings on in Lebanon. Highly recommended.

And Dr. Sanity has the musings from the mouth of the babe Nasrallah (via the Corner). [And is also recommended (but then just about everything she writes/blogs is)]. THE EVOLULTIONARY DEAD-END OF ISLAM


7:35 p.m.

I Love Andrea Mitchell

Was watching ABC Evening News during dinner (and no I can't tell you who succeeded that commie b*tch Jennings). But I gotta tell you, I busted a gut laughing when Andrea put forth the notion that Israeli military policy is dictated by Washington. Suggesting that Israel is Dub's lapdog/puppet, acting only in U.S. policy interest regarding Syria/Iran.

Sh*t (snicker), we all know I love, respect and admire Dubya. But Andrea ..... you might seriously consider quitting your day job. Comedy is your one true calling.

XXOOXX Andrea, Your Boy Elroy



Tuesday, July 18, 2006.

7:40 a.m. - See Andy. See Andy blog. See Andy blame Boosh for everything. See Andy make his ole pals the neocons, grateful for the unbridled glee that he now gives them. See Andy's readers pat him on the back. See Andy's new digs in Private Idaho. See if Elmo's trackback goes through? See Andy.

Thus Ends an Era

Mr. T Sheds Gold After Katrina Destruction

Associated Press - PASADENA, Calif. - Mr. T has given himself a makeover. The former television action star shed the piles of gold chains that were his signature look after witnessing the destruction from Hurricane Katrina.

"As a spiritual man, I felt it would be a sin against my God for me to wear all that gold again because I spent a lot of time with the less fortunate," the actor said Thursday at the Television Critics Association's summer meeting.


And as One Era Ends ..... Another Begins



Hi, I'm Joe Wilson .... and this is my wife Valerie. Yes, that's right. Two commie traitors who somehow avoided the firing squad. Well, while one hurdle has passed, another approaches. We've run out of walking around money. Can't do martinis with lunch in the Beltway like we used to. Or go shopping on Fifth Avenue. A real foogin pisser I tell ya. Hey, what's a deranged acid dropping flower child to do?

Well (I like that word), we've come up with a plan. All the rest of you commie sympathizers send us money [no rubles, dollars (they don't take rubles at the Russian Tea Room .... I know, I tried)].

The Joseph and Valerie Wilson Legal Support Truss Fund

Yes, I would like to support the Wilsons in their efforts to hold the hands of those who are gullible and have accounts. To make a contribution, please select the amount below:

$50.00
$100.00
$500.00
$1000.00
$5000.00
$10,000.00 (Valerie will model a truss for you)

“Please help Valerie and me in our efforts by lending your truss or support undergarment.”-- Assbassador Joseph Wilson. Or ..... make checks payable to “The Joseph and Valerie Wilson Legal Support Truss and Undergarment,” and mail them to:

The Joseph and Valerie Wilson Legal Support Truss
P.O. Box 40918
Washington, D.C. 20016-0918

All contributions will be deposited with some commie lib lawyers, and will be disbursed as needed to pay (themselves), the legal team representing the Wilsons. Especially when they take them to expensive restaurants for lunch or dinner. There are no contribution limits and contributions are not tax deductible. Contributions up to $12,000 are not subject to gift tax. You should consult your own personal tax advisors regarding any other potential gift tax consequences. Not valid in all socialist societies, your mileage may vary.


Via Dr. Sanity, TWO BIG STUPID NOTHINGS ?

Hi Mohammed Deif Here .......

The reports from the dirty Yooze, that I'm dead or mortally wounded are false. Sure, a few years back they also said that they had poked my eye out with a stick. But those were just more Joo lies.



I actually cut myself shaving, and as you can see, I'm still a very handsome Joo babykiller. And of course, as you can see, I'm also smiling. Why? Because my dear brothers in arms, the New York Times have not failed us again. Calling Israel's response escalation, utilizing warplanes in a military operation. But our murdering blood sucking ways are petty assault .... leading to fighting. Praise Allah, I love those cute leetle fifth column beetches. I really do.



Well yeah sure, they did fugg up my ride a little. I cannot tell a lie (I'm over my limit for the day). And you know what? I just had it washed at Ahmed's Mercedes Massage in Gaza City. Twelve fuhkeen dollars, can you believe that? I can't. Some more infidel Joos are gunna die I'm telling you. My car ........ those b*stards!!



Some other chatty Cathy said I wuzz paralyzed. Also not true.



Or even that something happened.



To my package.



Let me make this perfectly clear. O.K.? This is a vent hole.



And I've still got me ....




O.K., I did get a scratch or two. Doesn't mean I'm going to change my name like some have already suggested.





No Sir.



And we're gonna be back to serious Militant Radical Islamic sh*t in no time at all.





Anyway, as you can see, this week's word is love. Which I have nothing but. For the New York Times. They go something like a thousand or more words on the Mumbai train bombings. And don't use the word Muslim, or the word Islam even once. I said I love them didn't I? You Americans are so lucky to have an old gray lady like that, she can really put out. Holy mackerel what a whore!

Sincerely Mohammed Deif, Jew Killer Extraordinaire.



The Mudville Gazette's Open Post

I am a Conscientious Objector ......

To Militant Radical Islam

Not too long ago, we were bound together in life. We shared the world, our communities. Yes, predictable the changes a modern world has wrought. But to me they are becoming just that much more insidious. I honestly believe that the Windows operating system a contibutor to mental illness. The intense frustration that comes from being chained to mediocrity. The anger, the rage that actually leads one to assault their computer [and yet that mofo still works (dammit)]. And Google bringing us another truckload of their very own special corporate beneficence. Drivers in traffic acting like participants in a first person shooter. Digital music, digital film/projection.

How long has it been since I felt uplifted when walking out of a movie theater after the final credits roll? Being giddy at the arrival of an incurably catchy pop tune? At times it seems like too much. I've become dissociated a little from the daily stream into river of bad news. Numb. No, not Pink Floydian comfortably numb (which would be nice). And the world has become a trudge through drudgery. The magic of life is gone. The evil nasty insanity that is Militant Radical Islam is the topper. The last straw. The camel's back giving way.

But I will not give up. I will not surrender. I will not let the blood sucking insects take the beauty, the joy that once was mine, ours. We will adapt. We will change. The confluence of incongruity is certainly strange. A world at war. Against escapees from the depths of hell. While trying to hold dear the simple charm of being.

Islam will not change in my lifetime. Whatever arguments you may wish to present in support of the oft bandied 'moderate Islam.' Too much hate has infected too many of the planet's billion plus Muslims. The forces of darkness will not transform. Will not step into the light. Will only march ever more proudly to the abyss. Dragging headless forms formerly possesing a soul. And tossing them in like so much refuse. I will not be consumed by hate. I will not be destroyed by anger. I will fight to reclaim the tiniest bit of beauty. Of joy. Of magic that is life. I will. But I will also forever be .......

Conscientious Objector, to Militant Radical Islam.




The Mudville Gazette's Open Post

Cease Fire! I'm begging ......

Stop the Escalation!!

So we excavate a real long tunnel ...... cross an international boundary ..... murder some human beings, and then kidnap another. Big fugging deal .... what's everyone getting so excited about? I mean after all, they were only Jews right?

If we had known those summb*tches would then show up with soldiers, tanks, jets and helo's? Well, we would have just tried to blow up another bus filled with people. You know ..... like we usually do.



Cease fire, cease fire ..... this fully militarized war thing sucks, big time. I mean it isn't any fun when they fire back.




No ..... I'm the biggest Jew hater. No you're not! Am too!!



Yes please, do bring me some more little girls. I'm the Supreme Leader .....



Haniyeh shouldn't get more than me. That's bullsh*t!



In fact, bring me one right here, right now. On her knees. And if you can't get me a little girl, a little boy will do nicely. Thank You Very Much. Did I say I was the Supreme Leader? You don't believe me .... well that's what Reuters calls me. And they should know.



What can I say ..... this Supreme leader stuff, you know JoooKilling is hard work (wink, wink).



Besides, if little girls were good enough for Moe, Homm, (&) Ed. Well you can darn tooting bet they're good enough for me. So there.


I did say I'm the man, didn't I?



Why even the Washington Post has very graciously agreed to air out my smelly drawers. Man they even included the quotation marks that I used around the word kidnapped. Bless their little MilitantRadicalMuzzySympathizer hearts. Every one.



But dammit, where's Kerry or Kennedy when I need them?

"9-11 changed many people’s lives ...... especially those inside the WTC" (haha)

'Joking Muslim cleric mocks victims of London blasts'

A SPEECH by a Muslim cleric praising the London bombers and mocking victims of suicide attacks has been broadcast on the internet to coincide with the anniversary of the July 7 attacks.

The audience laughs as Omar Brooks, a British Muslim who also uses the name Abu Izzadeen, makes fun of non-Muslims as animals and cowards. And the kuffar are debauched binge-drinkers who vomit and urinate in the street. The speech is peppered with jokes that bring laughter from his audience at the Small Heath youth and community centre in Birmingham, where it was filmed last Sunday.

At one point he announces dramatically that the September 11 attacks on the World Trade Center changed many people’s lives. After a pause, he brings the house down by adding: Especially those inside.

How does G*d decide what scripts Keanu gets?

Maybe it's just me ..... but five [count em (A Scanner Darkly, Matrix II, Matrix I, Johnny Mnemonic, Little Buddha)]. Five movies that the esteemed actor has graced, are in varying degrees based upon the mind. Whether philosophical, spiritual, existential, or mechanical. I'm pretty sure the big guy does it .....







Wizbang!s Carnival of the Trackbacks LXXVI

"Life based on peace and prosperity"

'Death for Somali Muslims who shirk prayers'

Mogadishu - Somali Muslims who fail to perform daily prayers will be killed in accordance with Qur'anic law under a new edict issued by a leading cleric in the Islamic courts union that controls Mogadishu.

The requirement for Muslims to observe the five-times daily ritual under penalty of death was announced late on Wednesday and appears to confirm the hard-line nature of the increasingly powerful Sharia courts in the capital.

"He who does not perform prayers will be considered as infidel and Sharia law orders that that person be killed," said Sheikh Abdalla Ali, a founder and high-ranking official in the Supreme Islamic Council of Somalia.

"Sharia law orders the killing of any Muslim person when he fails to perform prayers," he said in an address at the opening of a new Islamic court in Mogadishu's southern Gubta neighbourhood.

Ali added that it was the duty of every Somali to implement the provisions of Sharia law, which when fully accepted would allow "everybody to enjoy life based on peace and prosperity".


All the Lies Associated Press Can Print ......

'Western Union blocks Arab cash deliveries'

DUBAI, United Arab Emirates - Money transfer agencies have delayed or blocked thousands of cash deliveries on suspicion of terrorist connections because senders or recipients have names like Mohammed or Ahmed.

An Indian driver here said Western Union prevented him from sending $120 to a friend at home last month because the recipient's name was Mohammed. In a similar case, Pakistani Qadir Khan said Western Union blocked his attempt this month to wire money to his brother Mohammed. "Every Mohammed is a terrorist now?" Khan asked. Dubai-based representatives from Western Union said their clerks are simply following U.S. Treasury Department guidelines.

"We have an obligation to do all we can to keep money out of the hands of terrorists," Millerwise (U.S. Treasury spokeswoman) said. The list of names, available on the Treasury's Office of Foreign Assets Control Web site, contains hundreds of Mohammeds.

In the United States, banks, car dealers, title companies, landlords, and employers have used the list to unjustly block scores of ordinary transactions, said Shirin Sinnar, a San Francisco attorney with the Lawyers' Committee for Civil Rights. In one case, a couple in Sacramento, Calif. was thwarted from purchasing a treadmill on a financing plan, simply because the husband's first name was Hussein.

In Dubai, a Western Union branch manager said "Mohammed and Ahmed have become problematic names because they are so common on the list of terrorists," said Nixon Baby, who runs a Western Union franchise in Bur Dubai. At another Western Union office, an executive who deals with security measures said about 1 percent of the store's 30,000 daily money transfers — about 300 a day — are delayed or blocked.

Western Union routinely delays or blocks transfers between customers whose names even partially match names on the Treasury list. The money is usually released once suspects show identity documents that prove they are not on the list.

Bwahahahahahaha .........

'AOL May Offer Its Services for Free'

NEW YORK - America Online, the online unit of Time Warner Inc., is considering offering its services, including e-mail, free to customers who already have a high-speed Internet connection, The Wall Street Journal reported Thursday.

Under terms of the proposal, which comes amid AOL's quickly depreciating subscriber base, AOL would no longer charge subscription fees to users with high-speed Internet access or a dial-up service from another provider. AOL customers with "dial-up" Internet access through AOL would still have to pay a monthly fee of as much as $25.90, the newspaper said.

The newspaper said that AOL's total U.S. subscriber base fell by 850,000 in the first quarter to 18.6 million. At the end of 2002 the company had 26.5 million subscribers.


No, but seriously ......

'Calif. Man Finds Marmoset in Backyard'

SAN MATEO, Calif. - Andrew Padilla first saw the monkey in the backyard of his Palo Alto home, hanging out by a fence. He thought it must be a squirrel. It turned out to be a marmoset.

"I wanted to adopt him," Padilla said. "He was so cute and friendly." Padilla said he fed the stray monkey bananas and crackers before calling the Peninsula Humane Society.


4:30 p.m.




'French fan killed during celebration'

PARIS — With shouts of “Zizou, Zizou!” and “We’re in the final!" Tens of thousands of French fans poured onto the Champs Elysees after France advanced to the World Cup final Wednesday night. One fan was killed in a subway accident, disrupting traffic while the metro system was packed with people. The victim had climbed atop a train at the Opera metro station, in central Paris beneath the famed Opera Garnier, and fell at around midnight ......


Devolution of the species continues ........ unabated

'Universal tries repackaging to hike CD sales'

LONDON - Universal Music Group International, announced Wednesday that it is overhauling the packaging of compact discs sold in Europe, in an effort to slow the decline of CD sales. The company unveiled a new three-tier packaging system. "DeLuxe" packaging, for top artists' latest releases, "Standard," and a slim "Basic" sheathing for old classics.

New releases from Universal's biggest names, including The Killers, will hit shelves in September in the deluxe wrappings, replete with limited-edition bonus features. "The CD is fighting back," said Max Hole (in the head), executive vice president of marketing at Paris-based Universal.

The new "Super Jewel Box" case has rounded edges, stronger hinges and a locking clasp. The additional audio and video content in the deluxe model will come with a bigger price of $25.50 - the company said pilot programs across Europe show the model as a success.

You betcha there Maxwell. Raising the price of CD's is definitely going to increase their sales (and decrease copy sharing, and slow online distribution). Uh huh. Yep. Rightey 'O.

Oh and Max, I seem to recall a very old adage about books, and their covers (I dunno, maybe that's just me). Hey, better music and better production values wouldn't hoyt either .... but then you know that already. Right Max?

It Was Only a Dream/I Cannot Tell a Lie

Woke up out of a dream last night that was beyond all description. Fantastic. A breathtaking realm that actually had me gasping upon waking. And moved me to furiously scribble its gestalt before the moment was lost. Disbelieving that a dream could be so rich, vibrant, and fantasial, it was a relief to awaken. And had me questioning if in fact someone had slipped some blotter in my bedside glass of water.

What was this dream Dear Elmo? I can't say. Not that its content was salacious or such. Just that it would seem criminal not to take it as the launching point for something much greater in length. 'Cannot tell a lie' ...... well discretion is the better part of valor. I do question how much of myself I want to share here in a public forum, and yet I don't want to engage in deceit. So I cannot tell a lie. Last night I had a dream. Standing on the patio, stealing a smoke, staring up at the heavens and the fading starlight as day approached. I was in awe ..... and hearing strains of John/Taupin in my head:

I can't light no more of your darkness
All my pictures seem to fade to black and white
I'm growing tired and time stands still before me
Frozen here on the ladder of my life .......


Was going through my referrer's log this a.m., and am impressed at the depth of searches which lead persons here. Giving me a feeling of having arrived as a blogger. Even without getting any hits from Mountain View. Yes, living Google free is not only possible. It is entirely practical as well. Here being an interesting hit that I have yet to explore. Plenty of news to get chomping on the bit this morn. And I may yet blog about some of it? Or not.

Of course went to the Rose Bowl, for fireworks yesterday. Second to last performance of the Pasadena Pops Orchestra, before the aerial display began. Was a vocalist doing Amazing Grace in tribute to our service personnel. Tens of thousands of people standing and singing.

How I love this country.

ABC News sold to Al-Jazeera

New York (CNN) - In an anouncment that shattered the holiday weekend calm of newstypes. Qatar based Al-Jazeera anounced their purchase of ABC News for two point four billion dollars, three camels, two goats, and "a handful of hairy belly dancers." Amir Mooohamid, president of the dominant Arab language news channel said: "At first we offered them some real nice belly dancers ......."


"But they declined."



"So we had to scramble to complete the deal. Ultimately they were very happy with the dancers we finally sent over to them, at their New York headquarters. We're going to really miss those goats and camels though." Amir said with a sigh.



"All staffers who wish to remain with the new network, will be given the opportunity to relocate. Housing will of course be provided to those who choose to do so." Amir added.


"There won't be too many changes required, especially content." He went on further ..... "the inspiration for the purchase struck me last night while I was watching ABC's Evening News. They had a reporter in Gaza, talking with a Palestinian gentleman. And showing Israel's ongoing tank shelling of limited targets in Gaza. And the reporter said": 'Everyday thousands of rockets land in Gaza.' "I knew we had to have those fifth column trash mongers for our very own. Can you believe that? Telling the viewing audience that kind of utter nonsense. I couldn't. It was stupefying. Talking out of one's ass like that is a skill we greatly cherish here at Al-Jazeera. We didn't wait another minute to fax an offer over."



"After they accepted, I retired to my tent .....



And in celebration, I put a little something extra in the ole water pipe, that the New York staffers had graciously Fed-Exed over. Such sweet little brown noses, they'll fit in rather nicely."


Caption Contests


(Gentleman on right) Is that an Israeli missile I see or is my ass just twitching on its own?



Quick Samir, run go kill some women and children, and then throw them in the crater. Hurry before the photographers from AP, AFP, and Reuters get here. Those Joos sure play dirty. But we'll show them!


And finally, a warm, glorious, and happy Fourth to all. G*d Bless.



Elmo.



Dr. Sanity linked with: Sunday, July 09, 2006/CARNIVAL OF THE INSANITIES/18. This was just to be expected, I guess.