Jill Carroll crowned Miss Dhimmi 2006

Baghdad - (AP) In a live satellite broadcast seen around the world, Jill Carroll the soft spoken head scarf wearing Monitor reporter, was crowned Queen of the Dhimmis for 2006. The colorful program was replete with reverence for Allah, and included The Dance of the Newly Headless. As well the wildly popular: Politically Correct Hoop Dance (seen above). Which lead to the spectacular finale wherein Miss Carroll effusively describes the quality and comfort afforded her by Mohammed's bug squad.

She went on to praise the furniture her murderous hosts provided her, and their kind and generous nature in letting her visit the loo without permission! Jill further thanked them in a heartfelt recounting of how they even let her take a shower. The mind does boggle Ladies and Gentlemen. But, the performance which the judges most admired, and was instrumental in her selction as Queen of the Dhimmis for 2006. Was the smiling adoration she shared with the world, in letting us know what a kind and decent bunch had murdered her driver/translator. By not beating her.

As part of Miss Carroll's Queenly duties for the new year, she will continue to promote the soft side of terrorism. And will act in commercials for Dhimmi International, in their new business venture: "Kidnapping Adventures." Where Westerners can book a kidnapping vacation at thirty different militant radical Islamic sh*tholes around the world.



6:15 a.m.

Merry Christmas ..... oops, Happy Rammadan Mahmoud Ahmadinejad! Yeah, sure .... a teency lil bit early. But, well .... that's just the kind of folks we are. Can ya feel da luuv Moo Moo?

'Pentagon prepares gigantic bunker buster test'

The Pentagon plans to detonate 711 tonnes of conventional high explosives in Nevada in June, in a test designed to gauge the effectiveness of weapons against deeply buried targets, officials say.

"I don't want to sound glib here, but it's the first time in Nevada that you'll see a mushroom cloud over Las Vegas since we stopped testing nuclear weapons," James Tegnelia, director of the Pentagon's Defence Threat Reduction Agency (DTRA), told a small group of reporters.


7:35 a.m. CNN, the most trusted name in shoes.

Dishonor Awards; Media Research Center; Most Biased Reporters of 2005. March 30, 2006 Grand Hyatt, Washington D.C..

Turner: "Well, hey, listen. I saw a lot of people over there (North Korea). They were thin and they were riding bicycles instead of driving in cars, but–"
Blitzer: "A lot of those people are starving."
Turner: "I didn’t see any ...



Outside the Beltway linked with OTB Caption Jam/Other Humor: Anechoic Room says a few things about Jill Carroll.




The Mudville Gazette's Open Post

I wouldn't want to be accused of Muslim bashing

You know, always writing about the latest absurdity from the Middle East or Asia. Or unfortunately, lives lost to Allah's boiling cauldron, after being fed into his beheading machine. No Sir, no Maam, I would not want to be accused of that. Like for example, linking to this heart warming little Brussels Journal treatise, with first its below included/linked excise:

'Swedish Welfare State Collapses as Immigrants Wage War.' The Brussels Journal, by Fjordman.

The wave of robberies the city of Malmö has witnessed during this past year is part of a “war against the Swedes.” This is the explanation given by young robbers from immigrant backgrounds when ..... interviewed (boys between 15 and 17 years old).

Almost 90% of all robberies reported to police were committed by gangs. “When we are in the city and robbing we are waging a war against the Swedes.”“Power for me means that the Swedes shall look at me, lie down on the ground and kiss my feet.” The boys explain, laughingly, that “there is a thrilling sensation in your body when you’re robbing, you feel satisfied and happy, it feels as if you’ve succeeded.”

“It’s so easy to rob Swedes.” “We rob every single day, as often as we want to, whenever we want to.” “The Swedes don’t do anything, they just give us the stuff. They’re so wimpy.” “We just see some Swedes that look rich or have nice mobile phones and then we rob them.”

But wait, don't runaway just yet, it gets better:

The number of rape charges in Sweden has quadrupled in just above twenty years. Rape cases involving children under the age of 15 are six times as common today as they were a generation ago. Resident aliens from Algeria, Libya, Morocco and Tunisia dominate the group of rape suspects. Ann Christine Hjelm found that 85 per cent of the convicted rapists were born on foreign soil or from foreign parents.

And yet even more:

This is happening in most Western European countries. European jails are filling up with Muslims imprisoned for robberies and all kinds of violent crimes, and Muslims bomb European civilians ..... this is exactly how an invading army would behave: rape, pillage and bombing.

(There is more, and it is highly recommended).

So Dear Heart, what are we to do ..... what are we to accuse your dear blog host Elmo of? Encitement to commit literary rage? Xenophobia? (oooh, look at the pretty word said the Lib). Paranoia? Hey, call me whatever you want, feel free. I don't profess to have all the answers, or even a few. I'm not even sure I have any answers.

It doesn't mean I'll sit quiet. And watch. And wait. And hope. And pray [not that there is anything wrong with that (smiley face here)]. What the future may bring, it is bringing now. Those in the future looking back, who knows what exactly they may say (that is if anyone is left to think, or to see?). I do know this. It is getting mighty f*cking ugly.

Today.



9:15 a.m.

What's the weather like there, huh lil' Elmo? Umm ..... hudnasty, with bouts of taqiya, and lots of dhimmitude. Continuing well into the fall. Readers are advised to keep plenty of WTF?'s handy.

'Borders, Waldenbooks Won't Carry Magazine' (AP)

Borders and Waldenbooks stores will not stock the April-May issue of Free Inquiry magazine because it contains cartoons of the Prophet Muhammad. "For us, the safety and security of our customers and employees is a top priority, and we believe that carrying this issue could challenge that priority," Borders spokeswoman Beth Bingham said Wednesday. Via http://www.iris.org.il/blog/


10:40 a.m.

Lost in translation

Iran Focus - Tehran, Iran, Mar. 29 - Iran’s Islamic Revolutionary Guards Corps (IRGC) will begin large-scale naval exercises in the Persian Gulf and Sea of Oman on Friday by firing a Shahab-2 missile “to show Iran’s desire for peace and friendship with neighbouring countries”, the IRGC naval chief said on Wednesday.


Hold the pickle, hold the lettuce, special orders don't upset us. Have it your way (at Burger King today).

Iran Focus - Tehran, Iran, Mar. 30 - A senior deputy in Iran’s Majlis, or Parliament, said on Thursday that the Islamic Republic would not abandon uranium enrichment “under any circumstances.”

War is here to stay

It is not going away.

Today, tomorrow, next week, month, or year. And overnight militant radical Islam is not going to have a change of heart, they are not going to be the recipient of bequeathed enlightened souls. They are not going to start teaching their children that we all share this planet. Muslim, Christian, Jew, or Arab or American. They will continue to teach hate. They will continue to practice it. They will continue to kill. Against this backdrop are Arab nations balanced upon active war with either Israel or the U.S.. Versus evolving a thumb, and joining the rest of us here in the real world. Not waking in the morning, getting on our knees, facing Mecca, and chantingly praying: "kill the Jew!" ... "kill the infidel!"

We have lives. We live them. Afforded by luck, by hard work, by determination. And even by righteousness. We don't stand atop the mountain and proclaim, but we will climb up it and knock down those who rain blood upon us. Rather than turning away, laying down .... surrendering. The march and approach of the insect parade continues. Better they come with whatever weapons they can devise from claw and deranged existence. Than manufactured in the bowels of hell.

There is no magic. War is here to stay. This is the world. We however can make it clear just who we are. We can do whatever it takes to keep Iran from assuming the mantle, which they beg Allah every minute of every day for. Destroyer of Israel. The fearless Muslim spitting in infidel America's face. Ready to die for their hate. Ready to take the whole Middle East with them. Fantasy? Paranoia? But that it were so. Entertaining thoughts of self doubt, watching and waiting for that thumb to grow out of Mohammed's butt, doing nothing. Prolongs the day whence Islam attempts lordship over all.

The time is now. Yes, it would appear to many that we are lost in half measures, for them a continuing unpleasant unreality. Neither changing things, nor making them clearer. Unable to see a better today, let alone tomorrow (discussions of media aside). But make no mistake, have no doubt, daily dropping E-tab, nightly going to a rave, hiding from that which is real .... condemns four billion other inhabitants of this planet to hell. The world belongs to everyone, even ravers. Only fools and clowns think it not our place to say so. It does not belong to Allah, his prophet, or followers. Standing in the way of those who would sound out the call of two billion feet trying to find four billion heads to stomp? Your right.

We may be wrong .... though it isn't very likely (it certainly would be nice). Go ahead .... continue crying, crying that evil man Bush, that evil man Cheney, those nasty Republicans, Halliburton, Arnie, yadda yadda. All the while Hillary mocks you and Ahmadinejad rejoices. In a world at peril, crying children will not save the day. Run along little libs. Run along now and play.

'Rice: Iran a Menace Beyond Nuclear Issue'


"All seek to finesse war rather than win it." Danile Pipes, Human Events Online, Mar 28, 2006. Recommended.


Mideast dictators try to "wait Bush out." They may be miscalculating. OpinionJournal BY AMIR TAHERI. 'The Last Helicopter.' Long, but interesting, and of course .... recommended.


And finally, yes .... war is here to stay. But dang, it sure seems like stupidity is fookin forever. Jonathan Gurwitz: Peace isn't made when real wrongdoing goes ignored. Ummm .... do I need to mention this one is also recommended?

A Letter of Explanation

To the Students, Teachers, Parents, and Administrators of Hatboro Horsham High School, throughout the year I travel to various schools ...





talking about my sexual experiences at Mickey D's.




At the same time demeaning ethnicities and special needs students. I understand how some of my remarks didn't offend everyone in attendance, and if you feel that I didn't offend you, then I am deeply sorry.



When I speak at schools, I try to express my views on difficult topics with brilliance and manners. I try to connect with students, especially the hotties. One student even said to me, “you didn’t say anything,” and that was my sole intent.



I do, however, believe it is very important for me to address many of the points made in the media. First and most importantly, it should be made clear that the only persons I called “retarded” were the people in the back who were unable to hear, the special needs children. I have also been portrayed as someone who spewed profanity for a full hour. To set the record straight, I did say five “clean” words during the speech. O.K.



It has also been said that I insulted faculty, when in actuality, all I was doing was watching, the teachers sit up in the balcony and smoke pot. The students roared with laughter, when I asked the teachers if they brought enough for everyone?



Lastly, in the article it quoted me as saying that the greatest lesson those kids learned was the importance of freedom of speech. That's not true. They learned that any major dude like me, can be a demi celebrity. And that most of the time, people will walk ten feet behind my behind, holding a roll of tp.

Please know that any comment I made in my speech was done in an imaginary cone of silence, without an ounce of purpose. While it may be too late for apologies for me, I hope this in some small way can start to make amends with the rest of you. As an individual who finds daily ground in this world, I am hopeful.

Sincerely,

Morgan Spurlock





9:50 a.m.

Me .... paranoid? Nah, you must be joking. Telling me I see a jihadi under every rock, pebble, and stone. Puhleeze.

Tell me no

'Morgan Spurlock, Super-Sized Ass'

Filmmaker Morgan Spurlock (2004's Super Size Me), spoke at Hatboro-Horsham High School, during its first-ever Health and Wellness Fair. In his hourlong presentation before 700 students, Spurlock joked about the intelligence of McDonald's employees, using an Indian accent as he imitated a cashier trying to figure out how to ring up a Quarter Pounder. He also joked about "retarded kids in the back wearing helmets" and teachers smoking pot in the balcony. There actually were special-education students in the back row. Teachers led them out during the hourlong presentation.


Say What?

'Brussels Prosecutes Priest for Islamophobia' - Paul Belien - The Brussels Journal

One of the rare churches that is packed every weekend is the church of Saint Anthony in Montignies-sur-Sambre ... to the south of Brussels. (Whose priest) Father Samuel, has been prosecuted for “incitement to racist hatred” by the Belgian government’s inquisition agency, the so-called Centre for Equal Opportunities and Opposition to Racism (CEOOR), because of a remark he made in a 2002 television interview when he said:

“Every thoroughly islamized Muslim child that is born in Europe is a time bomb for Western children in the future. The latter will be persecuted when they have become a minority.”



Last Thursday the Belgian judiciary decided that the priest will have to stand trial before the penal court in Charleroi. He reacted by repeating his time bomb statement and added that he would be honoured if he had to go to jail for speaking his mind.


Cry me a river. Laugh me an ocean.

'Enemies launching psychological warfare: Pres.' - IranMania.com

LONDON, March 27 - Iran's President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad said enemies intend to get concessions from Iran by launching psychological warfare. "It is high time they would be accountable for their crimes," said the president. "Enemies are against our progress and development and are unhappy with our acquiring nuclear energy."

"They should apologize to Iran for their insults." The Iranian nation following (the) Prophet Mohammad is after peace and tranquility in the world, said the President ... "a number of powerful countries have filled their arsenals with various kinds of weapons, imposing an atmosphere of intimidation on the world. However, we say it is high time the world would be cleaned up of nuclear weapons and peace would prevail over the world."



Ahmadinejad, seen here Sunday, in the city of Yasouj during the first day of his trip to the southern province of Kohkiloueh-va-Bouyerahmad.


6:55 a.m.

'Justice Scalia gives a sign, but no finger'


The king of all media:
'New Jacobs Study Say 70% Of Stern Listeners Stayed With Terrestrial Radio'


"Bone deep intellectual bankruptcy." A lovely slam of those poor unfortunates suffering from BDS (who are defending Helen Thomas).

Can Time Magazine be that stupid?

Between Michael Ware's on the air and unaware, drunken savoring of Bill Maher's salami. And now this precious little tidbit of terminal brain failure. One has to wonder who reads, buys, let alone actually understands the words? They are utterly meaningless. It is one thing to have a point of view, another to disagree. But this is a tragedy. A pervasive mental illness. Somebody hold me, I'm scared.


'Republicans On The Run' By KAREN TUMULTY, MIKE ALLEN

Considering that Vice President Dick Cheney had come a long way to help Florida Congressman Ric Keller raise $250,000 last week, the reception he got in the Sunshine State could have been a bit warmer. After extolling Cheney as "one of the most effective Vice Presidents in the history of the U.S.," Keller launched into all the times he had recently opposed the Bush Administration, including the deal to allow a Dubai company to manage operations at several U.S. ports. And then Keller went right for the punch line: "'Don't be too hasty,'" he claimed the Vice President had pleaded with him. "'Let's go hunting. We'll talk about it.'"

One wonders what planet Tumulty and Allen "reported" from. Where the fook they were? If they were in Florida, with the Veep, I'd say they and the mag they work for, are totally worthless. Gone. Gone. Gone. Better they quit and go to work for the DNC, collect an honest wage. Time? It's possible that they once held the public's trust. They certainly will never hold it again.

See, I wasn't there in Florida, but from this Liston/Reuter's report. I get a feel for what transpired, without even being there: 'Cheney: If Democrats can lead, then I can sing.' Maybe Time's domestic political staff, is as soused as Ware is, while he traipses from bed to bar and back again. In Baghdad. And it isn't like I haven't in this life, met an old timey newspaperman. Back in the day.



P.S. Don't forget. If you are not a soldier, fighting in Iraq, and you support the G.W.O.T.? Then you ARE a chickenhawk. No ifs, no ands, no cute little Alba backsides. So remember (please): The earth is melting ..... the earth is melting .... the earth is melting!




5:38 a.m.

A rather big to do about the rally here in Los Angeles over the weekend. Me, I've lived here most of my life, with some detours (Cali high desert, Alaska, Cali central coast). And while there is a political component to the demonstrations, I view Mexicans as my fellow human beings. Fellow members of the community I live in. I most certainly do not view them as terrorists. However one may view the current state of immigration policy, or border security. Yes, it's a long border, yes it needs help, with clarity and resolve required to sort things out. Having said that, I get a little chilled thinking about our northern border, with our dear friends, the Canuckastans.


Mar. 24, 2006 - Anti-Semitism on the rise in Canada. Incidents have nearly tripled since 2001, though 2004 was worse than 2005. Anti-Semitic graffiti spray-painted on a Montreal school building. Via jpost.com


Anyway Bunky, don't let it all gittya down. Why, I might even suggest that you grab a seat, and fasten your seatbelt. Cuz this one just might make you laugh yourself silly.



Hamas calls for 'end of bloodshed'


And finally, if you're in the mood for a little eye corner moisture?

'Soldier returns from Iraq to surprise: Restored collectible car'
...

How much would you pay to kill a member of Al Qaeda?

'Al Qaeda Tested Poison Beer, Burger Plot'

CBS - LONDON An al Qaeda terrorist ... told accomplices to sell beer (injected with poison) at soccer games, or poisoned hamburgers from street vending stalls ... Waheed Mahmood claimed during a meeting in Pakistan that he had already tested the poison plan ... (according to Babar). Babar, plead guilty to several terrorist offenses in New York, said the plan was raised by Mahmood during a meeting at (a) Pakistani home, outside Lahore in 2003.

Babar, claimed Mahmood said "you could get a job in a soccer stadium as a beer vendor. You just put poison in a syringe, inject it in a beer can and put a sticker on it, which would stop it leaking, and hand them out." He said he also suggested getting "a mobile vending cart selling burgers, just poison those. You could set up a shop on a street corner and sell poisoned burgers and then all you have to do is leave the area."


Each day goes by, and more foogin stupid libs blather on about Dubya, and Cheney, conservatives, Ben Domenech, Berzerkeley baby studies, and whatever doodie comes out of Kos' butt. Prattling on endlessly about the golden light of magnificent enlightenment that they bathe in ..... G*d's gift to humanity. Without which we could not see our way in the dark. Well you stupid mother f*ckers. Militant radical islam IS the darkness.

The question is .... can it be defeated? I'd like to think so. But more importantly, will it? The assault on truth, and reality by the brain dead left has been rather effective of late. Long term, there is no telling what they can do. But the taste for infidel blood by the insects of Islam will never be quenched in my lifetime. Whether or not future generations submit, or rail against? I do not know.

To American service personnel fighting the good fight, in moments dark and despaired. In noise and confusion. In heat, and smoke, and horror, and blood. Squish one of them bugs for me .... will ya.





5:45 a.m.

Brokeback Media/Springtime Edition/Love is in the Airwaves: Bill Maher & Michael Ware version.

8 minutes, thirty eight seconds: Windows Media Player (very high quality video).

Time Magazine's Baghdad bureau chief Michael Ware, has been drinking. Bill Maher is simply drunk on his own ego, as usual. Together this heartfelt romance will leave you teary eyed. And with a longing in your loins for libs. Lysergic Acid Diethylamide is not required to watch the gauzy scenes of foreplay, but will definitely help bring this warm love story into sharper focus, as Bill and Mike slowly get it on.

Rated XXX for onscreen brain farts, intellectual pud pounding, and other assorted wastes of words and network airtime. With the ability to make most any reasoned watcher of the left and media, squirm in their swivel chairs. This short is the winner of six International Hurl Awards. Now playing at an internet website near you (concept via Rubin).



6:25 a.m.

Winds of Change sees Bill and Mike, through a more serious prism however.




The Mudville Gazette's Open Post

Aeronautical engineeers finally break the pork barrier!

'When pigs fly'


And, tongues are most certainly a wag, about wonder boy's indiscretions. Of course he toss' in his own coinage.

I want to apologize to National Review Online, my friends and colleagues here at RedState, and to any others that have been affected over the past few days. I also want to apologize to my previous editors and writers whose work I used inappropriately and without attribution. There is no excuse for this - nor is there an excuse for any obfuscation in my earlier statement.


Responding specifically to this:

As we mentioned in our earlier editor's note, staff here at National Review Online are going through all of the pieces Ben Domenech has written for us (the most recent of which appears to have been published in 2002) in light of questions raised in the wake of the debut of his "Red America" blog this week on the Washington Post's website (from which he has since resigned). Our review unfortunately raises questions about several other pieces besides the one we apologized for this morning. To give you a feel for what our staff has found:


A rather hard hitting comment, over at Ben's, in response to his soul expose.

But not too far off the mark (it's the integrity stupid!). Not that I don't constantly pilfer images in order to mock all and sundry. But I don't have to borrow thoughts from anyone ..... what's the point? No, I ain't a knockin Ben, just that I had my fill of integrityless blogging from the Pajamas Media honchos. I rather don't like it. Left, Center, or Right.


Mostly, I don't like giving weirdo f*ckface freaks like Kos, ammunition for his daily drool and spittle fest.



Then again, look what a little plagiarism can do for one's metrics! [Heh, heh (mebbe I needs to get me a little word larceny?)]




Wizbang!s Carnival of the Trackbacks LVI

The Mudville Gazette's Open Post

Anechoic Room celebrates 10,000 visitors

Matt Drudge refuses comment.

Well, surprisingly, we rocketed up to six thousand hits in a matter of weeks. I guess a result of participating in the online Pajamas Media/Dennis the Peasant mudslingfest. But, once we dropped our interest, those eyeballs went away. Now, after noodling along here for five months, we're just one of thirty million other blogs (though we finally broke the top fifty thousand metric on Technorati). Sure, we can hunt for eyeballs, do the odd trackback, write the odd empty puff piece, and traipse around the same sites and stories (as evahboddy ailse). Sh*t, we even broke a hunnerd the other day, for the first time in a month, by doing a couple of trackbacks. But, that's neither here nor there. Despite our whining and bitching at not being a member of any snooty numerical club (let alone a wearer of PJ's), we wouldn't trade our daily 25-50 Googleless readers for anything. So, we'll just say Thank You [and later on have a drink ... (Cheers!!)]


Treating H5N1 bird flu in Hamastan:

bird flu has been detected at two farms in the Gaza Strip ... Gaza chicken farmers planned a protest later Friday, after government officials told them they would not be compensated for culled birds ... "They (the farmers) are preventing the culling because they want compensation before (hand)..."


Exercising freedom of speech in Hamastan:

'Gunmen destroy Bethlehem TV studio, suspending broadcasts'


Free Willy

'Piss-controlled urinal-based video games'

'Peeing: the video game'


No word on whether or not the Vice President's water closet is as yet, so equipped? But, Smoking Their Own Sausage is standing by, for the latest internet dreck (that they can dredge up). 'Dick Cheney's Suite Demands'


Reuter's slip is showing

'Paris job law rally turns violent'

Dozens of young people, many wearing masks or hoods, overturned cars, smashed shop windows and robbed (other) student demonstrators of (their) clothes and mobile phones ...

How that got by/made it into a Reuter's report is beyond me? All I can say is .... how positively French. The very essence.


Caption as per Fox: "A youth hits a press photographer with a burning cloth." (AP)


So long Addwaitya, we hardly knew ye ....

'Kolkata tortoise, Clive's pet, dies at 250 years'




Outside the Beltway linked with Other Humor: Anechoic Room has had 10,000 visitors.

And they thanked the soldiers, President Bush, and Prime Minister Blair.

'Special forces free Iraq hostages'

BAGHDAD, Iraq (CNN) -- Three Western aid workers (members of Christian Peacemaker Teams), held hostage in Iraq for nearly four months have been freed in a multinational military raid, British Foreign Secretary Jack Straw said. Thursday's military operation "follows weeks and weeks of very careful work by our military and coalition personnel in Iraq and many civilians as well," Straw said.


And he thanked the soldiers, President Bush, and Prime Minister Blair.

'Iraqi Cameraman For CBS News Faces U.S. Military Trial In April'

Hussein was taken into custody after being wounded by American forces as he videotaped clashes in Mosul in northern Iraq in April 2005. Doyle said he received an e-mail from the U.S. task force at Abu Ghraib saying Hussein "appeared to be instigating a crowd" in Mosul. At the time of Hussein's arrest, CBS News reported that the U.S. military said the tape in the journalist's camera led them to suspect he had prior knowledge of attacks on American troops.


Say tarbender ....

'Texas arresting people in bars for being drunk'


Well, things could be worse

'Texas Carries Out Sixth Execution Of 2006'


In fact, you could get uromycitisis poisoning.

Larry Barnett, allegedly was exiting the front door of the building that is Alliance Financial Services Corp. on East Clark Street, when he encountered officer Alan Schnaith. Schnaith was there in response to a burglary alarm at the building. Barnett allegedly told Schnaith he had to use the bathroom “real bad” and so had entered the front door of the building to find a bathroom. Via Fark.




The Mudville Gazette's Open Post.

A preference for talk shows and soaps "is a marker of something suspicious"

'Daytime TV tied to poorer mental scores in elderly'

NEW YORK (Reuters Health) - Older women who say talk shows and soap operas are their favorite TV programs tend to score more poorly on tests of memory, attention and other cognitive skills, researchers reported Monday .....
A study of 289 older women without dementia found that those who rated talk shows and soaps as their favorite programs performed more poorly on tests of memory, attention and mental quickness than their peers who cited other types of shows.

What's more, they were at greater risk of showing signs of clinical impairment. For example, compared with women who preferred to watch news programs, those who favored soaps were more than seven times more likely to show signs of impairment on one of the tests, while talk show fans were more than 13 times more likely to demonstrate impairment.

Which came first ..... Oprah, or the chicken with its head cut off?



Red Ken falls down, and can't find the remote. TV set remains stuck on Oprah.



'London's mayor has become embroiled in a new row after criticising two Jewish businessmen involved in building a key facility for the 2012 Olympics.'

Ken Livingstone attacked David and Simon Reuben for their role in an ongoing dispute about the Stratford development in London. He suggested the brothers "go back (to their own country) and see if they can do better under the ayatollahs". The mayor is understood to think the consortium behind the project, of which the Reuben brothers hold a 50% stake, is not progressing quickly enough.

Conservative members of the London Assembly said the brothers were not Iranian, but had been born in India of Iraqi Jewish parents. Brian Coleman, assembly Member for Barnet and Camden, said: "This is the latest anti-Semitic remark by Livingstone ... "



The few, the proud, the French



'One third of French say they are racist'

Newt breeder Livingstone, born in Lambeth, London. Did not participate in the study however.

Police say the man appeared confused.

'Man turns himself in after leaving wife's severed head at gas station'

HAMBURG, Germany -- Police say a 40-year-old German appeared at a gas station today carrying his wife's severed head and asked the attendant to call authorities. The man, whom police did not identify, left the head on the lawn of the Hamburg gas station before making his confession. A police spokeswoman says the man "appeared confused ...."

What was their first clue?


'Annapolis Welcomes Spring by Burning Socks'



A sock lies on a stick during a sock burning ceremony, symbolizing that it will soon be warm enough to slide bare feet into boating shoes, Monday, March 20, 2006, in Annapolis, Md. Annapolis celebrated the first day of spring with a ceremonial Burning of the Socks. (AP Photo/Matthew S. Gunby)


'Robert Blake Plans Acting Comeback'

One year after being acquitted of murdering his wife, the 1970s TV star, claims he is ready to take on the world once again. The 72-year-old actor is currently working as a stable-hand for friends.

And Saddam is still president of Iraq .....


He said the toads must be taken to the RSPCA at 80 Boulter Rd Berrimah between 1pm and 5pm on weekdays.

The RSPCA, Coopers Brewery and the Cavenagh Hotel have teamed up in the name of animal welfare and the result is that toads can be turned into beer. In a move designed to turn seasoned Top End beer drinkers into lean, mean, toad-catching machines, the three Darwin organisations have got together to set up a toad-for-beer exchange.

Anyone over the age of 18 who captures a toad and delivers it alive to the Darwin RSPCA qualifies for a glass of icy cold Coopers beer at the Cavenagh Hotel. `Everyone who takes a cane toad to the RSPCA to be disposed of humanely gets a voucher for a free pot of Coopers ale at the Cav,'' Coopers Brewery's NT sales executive Sean Gould said. He said there would be a beer for each toad _ up to a limit of six a day.

Via Fark.


Anti-war protestors pick noses, and MSM is there.

'War protest at Hayworth office draws 2'

SCOTTSDALE - It was a very small army that protested the Iraq war Friday outside the Scottsdale offices of U.S. Rep. J.D. Hayworth. Only two peace activists stood near Raintree Drive and Northsight Boulevard, holding anti-war posters for passing cars to see.

The protest, part of a national campaign to call attention to the human cost of the war, urged Hayworth, R-Ariz., to support legislation reducing the U.S. troop presence in Iraq. "The ways of peace are not bombings and breaking into houses and scaring little children and families,"

How udderly (sic) profound.


It's the end of the world as we know it

Democratic Underground: 'How to spot a baby conservative (whiny children - study)'

Remember the whiny, insecure kid in nursery school, the one who always thought everyone was out to get him, and was always running to the teacher with complaints? Chances are he grew up to be a conservative. At least, he did if he was one of 95 kids from the Berkeley area that social scientists have been tracking for the last 20 years. The confident, resilient, self-reliant kids mostly grew up to be liberals.

Forget militant radical Islam. The march of the brain dead cannot be stoppped. As the sun rises in the morn, and sets in the eve. Stupidity is forever. Evolution? The door to Darwin's waiting room is locked, and these disciples of modernity want to call a locksmith. Only Francoise isn't answering his cell, he's in France protesting streamlined labor markets. With all the other good little apprentices.


And a one and a two and a

That's great, it starts with an earthquake, birds and snakes, an aeroplane and Lenny Bruce is not afraid. Eye of a hurricane, listen to yourself churn - world serves its own needs, dummy serve your own needs. Feed it off an aux speak, grunt, no, strength. Ladder start to clatter with fear fight down height. Wire in a fire .....

It's the end of the world as we know it.
It's the end of the world as we know it.
It's the end of the world as we know it and I feel fine.

Top 100 Liberal Whines

1) Bush
2) Bush
3) Bush
4) Bush
5) Saddam is no longer president of Iraq (and gosh we really miss him)
6) Bush
7) Bush
8) Bush
9) Bush
10) Bush
11) America
12) Bush
13) Bush
14) Bush
15) Bush
16) Republicans
17) Bush
18) Bush
19) Bush
20) Bush
21) Bush
22) Schwarzenegger
23) Bush
24) Bush
26) Bush
27) Bush
28) State of Israel
29) Bush
30) Bush
31) Bush
32) Bush
33) Bush
34) Bush
35) Vice President Cheney
36) Bush
37) Bush
38) Bush
39) Bush
40) Bush
41) Bush
42) Diebold
43) Bush
44) Bush
45) Bush
46) Bush
47) Bush
48) Bush
49) Halliburton
50) Bush
51) Bush
52) Bush
53) Bush
54) Bush
55) Bush, Laura
56) Bush
57) Bush
58) Bush
59) Bush
60) Bush
61) Bush
62) Anyone who looks like Bush
63) Bush
64) Bush
65) Bush
66) Bush
67) Bush
68) Bush
69) Bush
70) Anyone who voted for Bush
71) Bush
72) Bush
73) Bush
74) Bush
75) Bush
76) Bush
77) Plants, shrubs and anything associated with the word: bush
78) Bush
79) Bush
80) Bush
81) Bush
82) Bush
83) Bush
84) Reality and the price of Kush
85) Bush
86) Bush
87) Bush
88) Bush
89) Bush
90) Bush, Senior
91) Bush
92) Bush
93) Bush
94) Bush
96) Bush
97) Bush
98) Bush
99) Bush
100) Uh huh, yep, thazz rite, Bush.


5:30 a.m.

What happens when years of corruption and sleeping with the devil end? When the people of your country elect murderers to lead them? What would the old leaders of such a sh*thole do? ..... Why give it back to the Jews of course!

JERUSALEM (Reuters) - Several top Fatah officials have asked President Mahmoud Abbas to resign, dissolve the Palestinian Authority and return responsibility for the occupied territories to Israel



Recent meeting of the now Hamas led Palestinian parliament. Photo placards represent elected members, who are currently residing in prison. For the slaughter of human beings.


6:25 a.m.

Partisan politics in Holland, or ..... be careful what you ask for (workers in Red Light, now wearing Burkas).

The Brussels Journal, Paul Belien - Wouter Bos, the leader of the Dutch Labour Party (PvdA), is worried about the high number of immigrants in the ranks of his own party. Bos won the Dutch municipal elections on 7 March, by catering (to) the immigrants, who consequently tipped the balance in favour of the PvdA. Almost half the elected PvdA politicians in major Dutch cities where the PvdA is the largest party, such as Amsterdam and Rotterdam, are now Muslims. In an interview last Friday Wouter Bos said that he is worried about this situation.


And, via Real Clear Politics: hatred of Jews is now a hallmark of what's cool in France, even among young immigrants from non-Muslim nations.
'Increasing Muslim Violence in Europe Is Not Being Reported' Highly recommended.


Attention .... attention please. This is a special radio announcement: America bad, America evil. Bush very, very mean man. Won't you please help and save: 'The Innocent Vegetable Gardeners of Guantanamo' ? Because after all, only your whining, crying, derangement, and non-stop America bashing, can supplant democracy with Sharia law. Please call 1-800- BlowMohammed now (won't you?). Imams with your very own personal fatwa, yes, enabling you to to engage in the Jihad of your choice, are standing buy. Have your credit card handy. Don't delay, the best fatwas are going fast.

Have I said: F*ck those skanky ho's at Google, lately?

'Web site files complaint against Google' ... SiliconValley.com

'Web site sues over drop in rank' ... MercuryNews.com

The first SiliconValley.com link (via Digg), was loading problematically this a.m., the second link (via Jawa), San Jose Merc, does better. What is there to say, I started blogging out of frustration. Not some great desire. I mean there always were better bloggers [Allah, who I bumped into on occasion around the net (mostly seen him hanging at Ace's)]. Always will be. I knew I could never outlink anybody, let alone out-think or write (or even outfunny). Doesn't mean I'm the world's worst blogger. I can tell you this. Google is the sh*t. And no, I don't mean that in a complimentary fashion.

However many months back, I noticed in my daily referral's log, that search engine hits from Google, were no longer present. Needless to say, I said: WTF? At the time, posts of mine on Tookie Williams, the French Riots, or Robert Pershing Wadlow (to name just a few), brought in say fifteen to twenty five percent of my daily looks/peeks/clicks/reads.

It was quite flattering to be a small part of the great big world wide web, me, foogin Elmo. It was cool to see how some indidvidual posts were in fact numero uno, on a few word/term searches. Not that the posts in question were fabuluous or anything, but they were at least acceptable. And well they had a point of view, that lead people to look, and read.

I'm not a lawyer (just barely a blogger), so I can't speculate on the outcome of this particular suit. I do however believe that Google will have their face slapped. Maybe not this singular case, but facets of it will continue to play out in real time, acrross the net, through the years. Google has been exposed as the biggest bully. The dankest skankiest ho. Additionally, homogenizing the web, all eyes going to the same sites/content, all the while collecting tolls along the way! The net will survive. The world will grow and change. The battle with Google will rage for many a year. Take back the web ....

F*ck Google.






Oops, almost forgot to give a shout out to me bud's in Fwance.



LOVED yesterday's riot (how do you say that in Frogesse?).



Wizbang!s Carnival of the Trackbacks LV (the best things in life are free, but you can give them to the birds and bees. Eyeballs, that's what I want).

What do you want to do today?

Yes you, Senator Feinstein.

G*d dammit, I want to legislate something, anything ..... I mean like now mudder hubbard.

WASHINGTON (Reuters) - The U.S. Environmental Protection Agency said on Friday that catalytic converters can safely be added to lawn mower and jet skis. To meet tougher clean air rules the agency plans to propose ..... under a legislative deal between Sen. Kit Bond, Missouri, and Sen. Dianne Feinstein (Bond had argued that regulations on small engines could force production overseas).


Minnesota CBS television station?

How about writing how psycho killers affect a company's bottom line? .... No? O.K., better yet, how bout the world's worst pun? You got it then, here you go: But the South Carolina-based company (Denny's) has struggled with its corporate image for years. Some observers say any negative news could leave a bad taste in the mouths of potential customers. 'Calif. Sees Week's 3rd Fatal Denny's Shooting'


Hey Furrantz, what do you want to do today? I want to do the same thing I do everyday, act French of course, silly.

A bill under debate in the French Parliament, may require iPods to be able to play music purchased from competing Internet services, not just Apple Computer's own iTunes, forcing changes in the business model that gave rise to the revolution in legal music downloads. The outcome of the debate, is far from clear. But taken to one logical conclusion, amendments to the copyright bill could lead Apple, the market leader, to leave the French music business .....


Tim Willis, 19, Mars Hill College freshman?

Ummm .... get in trouble with the Secret Service? Yeah, that sounds about right: his MySpace.com Web page ..... lyrics of a 1978 Misfits song titled “Bullet” ..... “the president’s bullet-ridden body in the street.” Willis posted the lyrics on his Web site. According to the Secret Service, Willis replaced references to the late President John F. Kennedy in the song, with George W. Bush’s name.


You talkin' to me?

I want to talk about Kangaroos.

(AP) VIENNA, A kangaroo led police in southern Austria on a snow chase Thursday after it jumped the fence of its cage and decided to explore its wintry surroundings. The marsupial — discovered on a country road about three miles outside the town of St. Veit in the province of Carinthia — kept hopping away from perplexed police trying to rein it in ..... In the end, a local veterinarian helped capture the animal using a stun gun. The kangaroo, which belongs to a breeder in Tirol, was in southern Austria for treatment.


Ask someone else.

Well, alright, I want to watch escaped kangaroo vids on my PDA. Sony introduced its 8GB Compact Vault drive, which can fit into CompactFlash type II slots. This announcement comes just two months after industry leader SanDisk introduced its 8GB version of the CompactFlash card. The Sony 8GB Compact Vault will retail for $259 when it hits store shelves in June.


4:15 a.m.



Well, that's just mean.
.....


8:04 p.m.

Comment? Snark? Who needs one with: Wines With 'Critter' Labels Hot Sellers

WASHINGTON — A fish, a monkey, a kangaroo _ Americans just can't get enough of the animals swimming, swinging and hopping onto wine labels. In the super-competitive business of selling wine, animals give new brands an edge. Americans buy twice as much of new wines with beasts on their labels as they do other new wines, according to the marketing information company ACNielsen.


8:36 p.m.

I don't think King Solomon would have done it this way, but what the froog do I know, right? How they do it at an Arab, East Jerusalem hospital.

The Al-Muqaddas hospital in east Jerusalem has found an original way to get women who have given birth at the hospital to pay their debts: If persuasions and demands don't work, babies are kept as hostages – until the financial matters are settled ....

Via http://www.iris.org.il/blog/


What the weather is like in Private, Idaho: raining whiney beootches, as usual (like that is ever going to change).

Dear HuffPost Readers, Commenters and Bloggers :

I've read all your insightful feedback over the last few days and realized something I did not see right away but should have. At the beginning of the week, I was so focused on making it crystal clear that we did indeed have permission to run the Clooney blog that I .... blah, blah, whine, cry, blah, blah .... (173 virtual blowjobs in the comments section, so far).


More hopeless knowledge: How to (humanely) kill a cane toad.

Australia's RSPCA recommends that they be smeared with haemorrhoid cream (it contains a local anaesthetic that induces a coma). The toads are then placed in a freezer and the job is done (humanely). Via Fark.



basil linked with: Picnic 2006-03-18/Today's picnic basket of items from my blogroll/Anechoic Room has a news summary.

I am so bitchen, let us count the ways

'Clooney donates Oscars swag to hurricane victims'

Actor-director George Clooney, who won the best supporting actor Oscar this year for Syriana, has donated his luxury items-laden Oscars gift bag for auction to benefit US hurricane victims, a leading charity said today.

And isn't it adorable how this same Ozzie news article juxtaposes Clooney's saintedness, with our government's evergreen ineptitude? Positively brilliant.

Katrina money wasted

US federal auditors have said the government wasted millions of dollars in its award of contracts for disaster relief after Hurricane Katrina, including at least $US3 million ($A4.07 million) for 4,000 beds that never were used.



All together now, everyone wearing rose colored glasses, smile and clap your hands.

Oscar Guests May Be Hit with Taxes

Guests who took home gift bags from the 78th Annual Academy Awards may have to pay $30,000 in taxes on their acquisitions. The bags included a $7,000 Victoria's Secret underwear set and a coupon for Lasik surgery, are worth approximately $100,000 each. The Internal Revenue Service has declared that the bags given count as taxable income.


6:12 a.m.

'Real rioters don't cry'

Well, possibly that may be true? But I once read that well schooled, and prepared demonstrators wear Pampers to the event. And no, I'm not joking/making that up.


6:40 a.m.

Confused? This Brussells Journal article won't help a lick (double entendre optional). While there are discussions aplenty about the march of militant radical Islam. And whether or not the West has the stomach, gumption, or even simple will to stand and face it. But lost in the simple, is the ridiculous. Sadly, strangely, I know we have nowhere reached/plumbed the depths of contemporary political insanity. Paul Belien's: 'Not even close. Jihad: It’s about Abortion and Gays, Stupid! Or Isn’t It?' Is still very much recommended, none the less.


Venezuelans to Gather and Pose in the Nude

"I chose a location to me that was beauty and chaos combined — organized chaos," Tunick said Thursday. "I'd probably be arrested for doing this and charged with a crime in half of the United States, so I'm honored to be here in Caracas and not be arrested."

All together now, Y...A...W...N



Outside the Beltway linked with: OTB Caption Jam/Other Humor: Anechoic Room has George Clooney’s head.


Wizbang!s Carnival of the Trackbacks LV [or that whiner Elmo, keeps b*tching he ain'ts gots no eyeballs (dammit)].

Pot Smoke and Mirrored Sunglasses

Today, the MoveOn.org petition is claiming 270,000 signatures (calling on the good folks of America to support Feingold's resolution to censure President Bush). While MoveOn.org is infamous for its extreme left-wing views, people need to know the extent to which this organization will go to convince people of their size and influence.


My Eyeball Just Fell Out of Its Socket. What should I do? What you usually do, blame Bush!


A Media Culture of Corruption ..... Implies that there is knowledge aforehand. Intentionality. I honestly don't believe they are being dishonest. I simply believe they don't have the intelligence to engage in truly corrupt behavior. Rather (Hi Dan), they do not possess the sight with which to make clear moral distinctions. They are on the air, unaware.



Well, yes ..... they do possess the necessary skills to rob a convenience store. But why do you Ask?

Terrorists kidnap teacher and Reuters is there!

Palestinian militants stand with U.S. citizen Douglas Johnson, an English teacher at the Arab American University, moments after he was kidnapped near the West Bank town of Jenin March 14, 2006. Johnson, kidnapped by Palestinian gunmen in the West Bank on Tuesday has been freed, militants and the school that employed him said. REUTERS/Mohamad Torokman



President Abbas, now that you are shown to be the do nothing you always were, and Hamas is in ascendency, are you going to go to Disneyland?



Speak to the hand.



No wait a minute, let me change that to: Klaatu barada nikto!



You know what, on second thought. Maybe I'll just keep my big mealy mouth shut.



No, no, I take that back.



Now its coming to me, hold on, I've almost got it!



Oh f*ck it .... I don't know what I was talking about. Do you know what I was talking about?


Nothing to see here folks, move along.


Thursday, 1:30 a.m.

Abbas Knew!

Abbas, however, confirmed that the British government had informed him of its intention to withdraw its monitors. "But," he added, "they did not set a date. They surprised us by leaving very quickly."


(Abbas' latest book, now in its second printing, available at Amazon).

Also from JPost link:

Majdi Ashour, a Nablus lawyer and political analyst, said the images of the policemen in their underwear were designed to humiliate not only the Palestinians, but the entire Arab and Muslim world. "Every Arab and Muslim should feel ashamed" (Kill the Jew! ..... ).



The Mudville Gazette, Open Post (eyeballs, we want eyeballs, where da fook are de eyeballs?)

Democrats aren't as stupid as they seem.

'Bush Censure Getting Little Support'

(AP) WASHINGTON Democrats distanced themselves Monday from Wisconsin Sen. Russell Feingold's effort to censure President Bush ... preventing a floor vote. A day of tough, election-year talk between Feingold and Vice President Dick Cheney ended with Senate leaders sending the matter to ... committee.

Republicans dared Democrats to vote for the proposal. "Some Democrats in Congress have decided the president is the enemy," Vice President Dick Cheney told a Republican audience in Feingold's home state. Even as he spoke, Democratic leaders held off the immediate vote ... Sen. Dick Durbin, D-Ill., said he didn't know if there ever would be one.



Feingold, seen here in a candid moment, letting Santa know early, what he wants.



A recurring theme in Democratic politics and politicians.




(Deanie also letting Santa know 'bout his lil' weenie).




Someone please wake all these lil' Tchaikovsky's and tell'em thuh nooz



The writing is on the wall

'Sales of LCD TVs surpass CRTs'

Market research firm DisplaySearch said in a recent report that LCD televisions have overtaken CRT-based televisions on a revenue basis. The report was based on fourth quarter sales figures from 2005: According to DisplaySearch, LCD TV shipments grew 137% versus the previous year and this is the first time that LCD revenue has beat that of CRTs.


If you build it they will come

Democratic Underground launches Cheney for President campaign.


Israel finally recognizes Hamas as the duly elected leaders of Palestine

'Israelis storm Palestinian prison'

Israeli troops have raided a prison in Jericho in the West Bank, demolishing buildings and killing at least one Palestinian guard. A jailed militant leader whom Israel wants to arrest is refusing to give himself up.

An Israeli bulldozer could be seen demolishing walls outside the prison where a number of Palestinian guards and prisoners including Ahmed Saadat, leader of the Popular Front for the Liberation of Palestine, are still holed up. An Israeli army spokesman said 182 people had been taken from the prison and were being questioned, including 26 wounded.




Dawg .... maybe pull up a chair, this could get innerestin' :-)

Killer kites kicked to the kurb by Mohammed

'Arrests in Pakistan kite crackdown'

LAHORE, Pakistan (AP) -- Police cracking down on flying kites arrested more than 1,400 people over three days during a springtime festival held across eastern Pakistan. The kite ban was imposed by provincial authorities after seven people were fatally slashed by kite strings that had been reinforced with wire or glass fiber in the run-up to the annual Basant festival. Islamic hard-liners oppose Basant because they consider it as a Hindu festival.



Will I get a visit from the Secret Service, if I say: hey Jimmy Carter, s*ck my d*ck! (?).

'A thorn in the side of peace' By Jimmy Carter

Israel has consistently flouted world opinion in its occupation of the Palestinian territories, and the Road Map can go nowhere without a genuine and abiding respect for territorial integrity in the region

I voted for that peanut brained hammer swinger, back in the day. Sorry. Anyway Jimmy, if you're out there babe, listen ..... here's a map to Montreal (just to show you there are no hard feelings). Let me know if you need any help with gas money?





Courageous and patriotic? Sh*t, I just told Jimmy Carter to sugg me deek. That makes me more courageous than Audie Murphy!

The courageous and patriotic Senator Russ Feingold announced this morning on ABC's This Week that he will be introducing a resolution Monday to censure President Bush for his illegal conduct in authorizing a domestic NSA surveillance program. Is there a Democrat with more backbone than Feingold these days?

I'd have to actually count his vertebrae. But, I'm thinking the total count after analysis of the pertinent x-rays, would be zeee row. Spineless. Jellyfish. Invertebrate. As much intestinal fortitude as a Gummy Bear.



This is your brain.




This is your brain on Bush Derangement Syndrome




Senator Frist who also appeared on This Week threw a restrained hissy hit and pledged that Feingold's motion would never reach the full Senate. He also added the ubiquitous treason insinuiation by claiming Feingold's motion sends a "terrible, terrible signal" to our enemies. If you think President Bush was scared before, I'd love to be a fly on the wall of the Oval Office today.

Any questions?



8:04 a.m. ..... Modern living in an ivory tower or: I know you are, but what am I. Or, I'm made of rubber, you're made of glue. Etcetera, etcetera.

'You've Got Mail (It's From Yale)'

"Y [sic] do you hate Yale": "What is wrong with you? Are you retarded? This is the most disgraceful alumni article that I have ever read in my life. You failed to mention that you've never contributed to the Yale Alumni Fund in your life. But to suggest that others follow your negative example is disgusting."

Alexis Surovov, assistant director of giving, Yale Law School

Comment(ing) on (criticism of) its (Yale's) admission of a former top Taliban official.






Point Five's Weekend Open Trackback, Tipping Point Edition